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Picky eater with health issues discovers GF is 'hiding veggies' in his food; AITA?

Picky eater with health issues discovers GF is 'hiding veggies' in his food; AITA?


It's normal for children to throw temper tantrums over food that isn't a plain piece of tragically unseasoned chicken, but what happens when your significant other won't eat a simple salad?

So, when a conflicted woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her 36-year-old boyfriend's refusal to swallow a vegetable, people were dying to weigh in.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for hiding vegetables in my boyfriend’s food?

I (28f) have been with my boyfriend (36f) for a year and we moved in together about 4 months ago. One of the first things I noticed about my boyfriend was that he never really ate vegetables. He would sometimes eat them if we were out at a restaurant and they came as part of his meal.

But he never ate them when I cooked for him. Originally I thought that maybe my cooking was the problem so I asked him if he enjoyed my food and he told me he loves my cooking.

On nights I didn’t cook for him, he ate exclusively frozen foods and never ate the vegetables in those either.

Naturally, he has some health issues. Vitamin deficiencies etc. he had phrased it to me as if he was somehow just genetically unlucky. I believed it for a while bc idk how that stuff works but eventually it became clear to me it’s because he voluntarily eats a vegetable like once a month.

6 months ago I started hiding vegetables in my cooking. If I was making pasta I’d put the vegetables in I’d usually put in for myself, then take half out and blend it so he wouldn’t notice the vegetable chunks and then tell him I’d just scooped the veg out of his portion.

This happens more often now we live together because I do all of the cooking. He’s been telling me a lot lately he’s been feeling a lot better the past few months and has even had his doctor reduce the dosage of some of his medications and he hasn’t had to take his multivitamin in weeks.

I kept my mouth shut because I’m just glad he’s feeling better and it really does me no harm to hide the veg in his food.

Yesterday, I was making one of our regular pasta meals (it’s one that’s very easy to hide at least 4 veggies in) and I was about to blend my boyfriend’s portion when the blender died mid-blend. I had to serve it in all its veg chunk glory.

My boyfriend refused to eat the vegetables but when he tasted the sauce he said it’s weird how it tastes the exact same even though this one has veg in it.

So, I confessed. He screamed at me and called me a controlling b*tch and said that it’s none of my business if he thinks vegetables don’t do anything.

I pointed out he said he felt better. He said his health was none of my business and that I’m a controlling, judgey AH and stormed out of our apartment to stay with his sister.

His sister texted me to say he’s fine but she agrees with. him. My friends agree it’s ridiculous that he didn’t eat veg but agree I’m being an AH. AITA?

Luckily, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this. Here's what people had to say:

Available_Ask_8725 said:

NTA (Not the As*hole). This is a grown man 8 years older than you. If he has a problem with your cooking, let him make his own food. He’s already coddled by his sister and doesn’t/shouldn’t need to be by you.

TrashMord said:

No. You are NTA in anyway, and I don't care what anyone says. I admittedly was the same way, till my girlfriend kinda got me to start. I've felt much better afterwards and just. Yea. Minus squash.

I will straight up fight someone over having to eat that nasty hell food lol. If he's gonna be a cry baby about it, he can cook his food and you can cook yours. That way he can 'control what he's putting in his body' as another comment said.

apaullo4200 said:

This guy is crying about eating vegetable that he didn’t know he was eating and actually liked how it taste. What a donut.

XarrisTheBard said:

NTA. There's an argument to be had about why lying to him about what you're putting in his food is bad, but it's not like you're doing it out of some weird perceptions about health.

Eat your damn vegetables. Also, please give me some of these recipes, I don't eat nearly enough vegetables either lmfao.

Gundoggirl said:

ESH (Everyone sucks here). On one hand, you shouldn’t be tampering with his food. Id be annoyed if my partner took it upon themselves to police my food, and put in stuff that I'd made it very clear I didn’t like.

He’s an adult and can make his own decisions on what he eats, even if this is at the detriment of his health. He sucks for being a giant toddler. You know they make hidden veggie sauce for kids right? Directly marketed for children.

I wonder why you are mothering him like this. You do all the cooking, I bet you also wash his clothes, you know, because you are doing all the laundry anyway, and most of the cleaning yeah? Because he’s busy, playing Xbox or whatever...

I know I’m making assumptions, but this man hasn’t noticed you using a blender on all his meals, so I’m guessing he’s not paying any attention to you at all while you cook. Are you planning on being responsible for this man forever? Especially such an ungrateful one.

pokederp56 said:

YTA. Listen. Lies and deception are no way to build a healthy relationship. You know that, he knows that, society in general knows that. So your part in this makes you the AH. However, consider what drove you to this behavior because it doesn't sound like this would be a healthy relationship even without the lying and food drama.

This is what I'm getting: your much older partner is refusing to take care of himself in a way that keeps him healthy (seriously, not even supplements??) and in response you turned into his mother. How does this affect other aspects of your relationship? Is this behavior from him attractive for you? Can you see yourself building a family together with this guy?

So, there you have it...

While the opinions were slightly divided here, most people agreed that this woman didn't do anything wrong by attempting to keep her boyfriend healthy. Still, an adult relationship shouldn't involve tactics that parents use to trick their tiny children into eating a handful spinach. This man should learn ASAP how to eat a balanced adult diet, and this woman should perhaps move on to someone who can stomach a leaf.

Sources: Reddit
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