Woman finds hundreds of secret photos of her brother on boyfriend’s laptop. AITA? + UPDATE
"I (24F) found hundreds of pics of my brother (20M) on my boyfriends (24M) laptop. Can anyone please explain to me what’s going on?"
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year. Our relationship is/was great and we honestly never had any serious problems. We both have full time jobs and live together. He’s good friends with my younger brother as well.
This is mainly because of their shared interest in fitness, workouts etc. They hang out a good amount and go to the gym together. In hindsight, the fact that they’re good friends makes it all the more creepier
Yesterday I was home alone and my boyfriend was at work. I needed to print something out but my laptop wasn’t working at all. My boyfriend has several laptops and there’s one in particular he never uses. At least I’ve never seen him use it.
I thought it was some dusty old thing. I grabbed it and it was NOT shut down properly. It took me straight to the photo albums .....and there were HUNDREDS of pics of my brother saved. Most were pulled from his social media accounts but there were also pics of him from his rugby team’s website. Wtf? This isn’t even the worst.
There was an album that only consisted of creep shots and videos. Pics of him sleeping and even videos of him getting changed. You could clearly see in the vids that he wasn’t aware of being recorded. WHAT THE EFFING EFF?
The last pic he uploaded was literally last week. This is so creepy, I don’t even know what to say. The were also pics of someone’s gym clothes and I’m assuming they’re also my brothers. I’m confused, disgusted and shocked. What the hell is going on? When he came back from work I just went straight to sleep, I couldn’t even face him.
I honestly can’t think of a good reason he would do this. I mean straight guys don’t usually do this, right? I don’t know if I should even confront him about it? Should I ask what this whole thing is about??
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
It's not just that your boyfriend is sexually attracted to your brother but that he's clearly obsessive. I'm a single guy and I will look at facebook pictures of my crush but I don't save them to my computer. That's super creepy. And him taking pictures of your brother sleeping sounds criminal. This is a lot worse than your boyfriend being secretly gay.
Imo saving them isn't so much the concern as is taking creep shots of him. That's a serious WTF.
I don't recommend confronting him alone. This is some very unhealthy stuff and I feel like if you corner someone with this sort of thing he may react in a way that puts you in danger. Don't do that, even if you crave the dramatic airing.
Two weeks later, the OP returned with an update.
Sorry to disappoint but this isn’t a positive update... i’m still trying to mentally process it all hence the delayed post. I grabbed the laptop to take pics of the photo albums.
I found waaaay more stuff than I originally stumbled upon. A lot of commenters in the OP said that he probably used me to get closer to my brother. I didn’t quite believe it at first but they were right.
While I was taking pics of the photo albums, I found more folders. He began saving these pics 4-5 months before we started dating and my brother didn’t even know him at that time. That realization sent chills down my spine.
I also went on the internet...the bookmarks, the browsing history....it was all horrific. I’m not gonna elaborate because it’s honestly sickening. It’s clear that he has an obsession w/ my brother...and extremely violent and disturbing fantasies about him.
I’m not talking about BDSM or bondage (although some of that was there too..)...this was absolutely messed up, scary stuff. I cannot believe that I was sooooo clueless. About everything.
I went over to my brother’s place and explained everything, showing him proof (on the actual laptop). He was shocked/creeped out of course but didn’t believe that my ex was behind this for different reasons (“but he’s not gay”, “he wouldn’t do something like this”, etc).
I wanted to go to the police but he completely refused. I explained that this isn’t just a crush from a seemingly straight friend, this is an unhealthy, psychotic obsession. He completely denied that he was in danger & seemed embarrassed more than anything.
I told him that X actually started creeping on him months before the relationship begun AND took all these creep shots. Besides, the browsing history and bookmarks were specific to him.
It would make ANYONE freak out. When I showed him the pics of his clothes, he was very confused and asked me why X would steal his dirty clothes.....but he still didn’t want to go to the police.
My plan was actually to confront X in public but my brother just straightaway texted him to come over. (Side note...he arrived super fast. I wonder what he was expecting). When X came I showed him the laptop & asked him to explain. The entire situation was so bizarre.
While I was talking he seemed incredibly angry, I’ve never seen such a look on his face before. But then he calmed down and casually confessed to everything. He said that it was just a “habit” he got into and that he’s truly sorry.
At that point my brother said that this is probably a prank and that it wasn’t funny etc. I started crying a little and X rolled his eyes and told me to “stop crying”. He was so nonchalant and cold, I didn’t even recognize him anymore. Then he said that he would immediately stop doing this if we kept this to ourselves. I think my brother finally believed him then, because he was absolutely dumbstruck.
X said that he’d take down the cameras too and that we shouldn’t make a big deal out of it. I asked him where the cameras are and he proceeded to show us (he probably thought he was a good guy for “cooperating” with us and that it would make the situation less creepy).
Turns out, there was a camera in the shower as well. It was nauseating. The conversation that followed was extremely uncomfortable and X said some very provocative/inappropriate things.
They ended up having a huge argument (about the stolen clothes amongst other topics) and the rest was pretty awful. I eventually went to stay at a friend’s place (I had already packed my stuff anyway).
Later that night X texted me that I’m a bad person for invading his privacy and that I’m selfish, narcissistic, a bad human being etc. He said that he’s willing to forgive me though.
Yeah he really said that. I blocked his number. And on everywhere. A day later he came to me at work and I told him to stay away from me. He did that everyday for one week (at different locations) until I seriously threatened him . He said that he never cared about me anyway and wished me luck for my future relationships.
A couple of days ago my brother texted me (we haven’t spoken at all since that day) and apologized....but he still refuses to address the elephant in the room. He’s just pretending it never happened.
I told him that X is clearly not stable, why would you NOT notify the police? I honestly don’t know what to do. (Is there a way i can report this, just in case?). And oh by the way. It was his 21st bday yesterday and I called him in the morning.
He told me that he got a present from an unknown sender....I said that the sender is probably NOT unknown to us. Like this is 100% my psycho ex. I just KNOW it. As I said, this isn’t a positive update. A lot of people seemed to be concerned and that’s the only reason I posted this. I just hope things don’t get worse.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:
"Sorry to disappoint but this isn't a positive update....."
Nobody thought the update was going to be positive.
GIRL. Take that whole laptop TO THE POLICE. I am not kidding, this is very serious. If your brother ends up dead you will never forgive yourself.
Wow. I'd go to the police with all the evidence anyway. That guy's info needs to be in their records in the event he makes a victim out of someone else later. Your brother should be a part of this. I'm sorry he ended up being a psycho. This whole situation has to be incredibly hard on you. I hope things only get better for you from here.
I don't understand why OP needs the Brothers permission to go to the authorities.