'AITA for planning a trip with my friends instead of babysitting my sister’s kids?'
"AITA for planning a trip with my friends instead of babysitting my sister’s kids after finding out she didn’t want me joining her trip with our mutual friends?"
Hello guys, So my 29-year-old sister has three kids: a one-and-a-half-year-old and 4-month-old twins. I’ve always felt bad for her for not being able to join hangouts since there’s no one to watch the babies, so I would frequently offer to babysit so she could go instead. This has made our mutual friends, all 25 and older, closer to her, which I don’t really mind. I’m 20 btw
Two weeks ago, my sister and our mutual friends planned a four-day trip, which happens to fall during my school week off. I was super excited and asked where we were going. She said the girls didn’t think it was a good idea for me to come since I’m really young, and that the other mutual friends’ sisters wouldn’t be coming either because they’re 18-19. I said fine and tried to understand.
A few days later, I was sending pictures I took to myself using my other 23-year-old sister’s phone, when I noticed a message from the trip group chat. I was curious and clicked on it. To my surprise, one of the friends suggested that the sisters come along (the other two girls and me) and that it would be such a fun trip with us included.
But my older sister refused and said, “No, I really need her to babysit my kids,” and that she suggested this specific week because I would be off school. She hadn’t communicated this with me at all. It was my only week off, and I really wanted to go somewhere and have fun. I definitely wasn’t planning to babysit the whole week, especially for a toddler and four-month-old twins.
I was really mad, so I planned a trip with my friends and didn’t tell her, since she hadn’t told me that she was planning on having me babysit—and I guess she was planning to tell me the same day she leaves. My trip is scheduled two days before hers.
Yesterday, while talking with my mom about needing to buy stuff for my trip, she asked, “What trip?” I said, “My week off with my friends. I thought you knew.” She said she did, but added, “You’re not going on a trip.” I said, “Yes, I definitely am.”
She got really mad and asked, “Who will babysit my kids then, since my other sister is going with them?” My sister started calling me selfish and reminded me she hadn’t had a trip since she was pregnant with her first. Which is two years ago ,I do feel bad for her, but this isn’t my responsibility.
I study all the time, and this was my only week off—I really wanted to go. She’s refusing just so I can babysit, and it bothers me that my mom is also on her side and trying to convince me to cancel my trip. I’ve tried convincing my sister to hire a babysitter, but every time, she argues and ends up firing them. I really don’t know what to do. My trip is in three days, Should I cancel my trip?
This is what people had to say to OP:
axarce said:
Where is the father(s) of the kids? Why isn't your mom volunteering to watch them?
NTA. As far as you knew, you were never asked (important to distinct between asked and told), so you made your own plans. Go have fun. She can deal with her own kids.
MovieLazy6576 said:
NTA. Let your mom watch them. Sit a boundary now or these kids will end up being your responsibility on all of your breaks. Your sister needs to learn to ask not manipulate.
Aidyn_the_Grey said:
NTA. Also time to start rolling back how much you help your entitled sister. She's twisted what should be considered a kindness into something she feels she is owed. I really hope that your sister pays you whenever you watch them, and if you haven't been charging, it is time to do so. This is very much a case of giving an inch and someone trying to take a mile.
Nicknamewastoolong said:
NTA Don't cancel. Her kids are not your responsibility. If your mom wants her to go on the trip so bad, she can babysit.
Jazzy404404 said:
Girl, did you have these children? Are you these children's parents? If the answer is no, then go on that damn trip. NTA.