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'AITA for 'poisoning' my roommate after he kept stealing my food?' UPDATED

'AITA for 'poisoning' my roommate after he kept stealing my food?' UPDATED

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"AITA for 'poisoning' my roommate after he kept stealing my food?"

So, I (F25) live with my roommate (M27). I originally lived alone, but due to some financial difficulties, I invited him to live with me. Well, to be specific, one of my friends told me about him when I told everyone I was searching for a roommate.

He was fine at first. He didn’t smoke and didn’t do drugs, so I let him live with me. He pays half of the rent and utilities. But we’ve had some serious issues lately. I work full-time (late into the night), so I cook for myself before leaving for work. It was all good for a few months, until recently.

Whenever I came home, I noticed that my food was missing. I’d ask him about it, and he would deny it, over and over again. Every single time. I even started to label everything I made with my name, but my food still kept disappearing, which pissed me off.

Now, for some additional context, I’mnot even a huge fan of nuts. I don’t crave them, I don’t eat them much at all, but my roommate is severely allergic. He told me when he came to live with me that he cannot consume anything with nuts, so I’ve avoided nuts in our shared space completely for the sake of his allergy.

But after weeks of my food going missing and him always denying it, I just snapped. The thing is, literally no one lives here other than me and him, and he doesn’t really have a lot of friends that I do not know, since he joined my friend group after moving here.

I know for a fact that he doesn’t have anyone staying over, so it was him. Plus, I even caught him eating my food a few times, so that just shows that he’s a sly pig. I remember preparing some cooked ribs for myself to reheat after I returned home from work.

It was going to be an especially tiring day, so as usual, I labeled the container with the ribs and left for work. I sent him a message telling him NOT to eat it, with a picture of the container. However, alas, the food was gone.

At this point, I was so pissed that I decided that I was going to mess with him. I went out of my way to buy almond powder and put it in my trap meal of mac and cheese. I gave this guy a chance to spare his life, I told him not to eat it. I even made sure to tell him, “Hey, that mac and cheese is mine. Don’t touch it.”

I even sent a message with a picture of it as usual. I was being extra clear, and just to make sure everything went according to plan, I secretly set up a camera to record the kitchen.

Later that night, I came back and saw that he’d eaten the entire batch. That pig was so inconsiderate that he just left the reheated container on the table. I decided to take the camera with me, and decided to head out to a bar. If he hadn’t eaten the mac and cheese, I would’ve stayed home and binged Netflix but he ate it, so I might as well enjoy myself while he struggles with his allergy.

So, as expected, a few hours later, I found out he was in the hospital with an allergic reaction. His mom used his phone to call me, being furious. She was screaming at me, accusing me of being a monster and poisoning her son by feeding him nuts.

I told her that it was food not meant for him, and sent her proof. I told her to read the messages I sent him, which showed the container and my reminder that he shouldn’t eat it.

However, his mom started berating me for being “careless,” asking why I would have something that he can’t eat. I just responded that I told him not to eat the mac and cheese and even labeled it.

I got pissed and screamed into the phone that if he can’t respect that and he keeps taking my food, then I don’t know what else to do. I told her that I’ve been very clear about this for months, and that he keeps on stealing my food and denying it.

She then started BSing, asking me if I even cared about him. I told her I didn’t, because I've repeatedly told him not to steal my food. I told her that he denied it every time, and would still eat it even if I specifically messaged him not to eat it and labeled the container.

I even told her I had video evidence of the whole thing. She didn’t want to hear it and started crying, but honestly, I didn’t feel guilty at all. I felt like this was the only way he’d learn. I tried conversations, messages and everything else I could think of but he just can’t cook for himself. How is it my fault? It’s not like I put it in HIS food. It was MINE.

But everyone is calling me a psycho, but I don’t get why I’m the bad guy. I specifically told him not to eat the food. His family clearly raised him to think it was okay to take things that weren’t his, and now I’m the one being vilified.

But at the same time, I know that he’s kind of broke, and he can’t afford hospital bills right now so I do feel guilty about that. So, AITA? Or was I justified in teaching him a lesson about respecting my food?

Edit: A lot of people are saying that I could get into legal issues or something for putting nuts into the food. The thing is, I made him sign a roommate agreement when we decided to live together, where I specified that food is something we will not share (including cost) and our groceries and food should not be touched by the other person.

I added this because he tends to eat a lot of unhealthier foods (such as delivery) while I tend to make my own food to save money. Also, to clarify, I did not consume nuts only because I was considering his allergy. When we started living together, he literally said that I could eat them if I wanted to but I just didn’t because I didn’t really need to and I wanted to be considerate.

Edit 2: I would respond in the comments but there’s too many. I learned that his allergy isn’t that severe. I was discussing this with my friends and one guy literally mentioned that the dude took a bite of a granola bar (with nuts in it) once and just used an epi-pen.

In fact, apparently it’s not life threatening if he doesn’t eat it in high dosages (I sprinkled a tiny bit because I was going to eat the mac and cheese myself later if it was there).

I checked with my neighbors, and they literally said that his mom (they think it’s his mom atleast) picked him up and drove him to the hospital. It wasn’t like an ambulance was called. He’s literally okay, and he’s texting his friends right now.

His mom wants me to pay for the hospitalization though, and i’ll revisit that later. So, for all the comments saying I attempted murder: no i didn’t. I’m very thankful that he isn’t severely allergic. He hasn’t messaged me yet, I sent him a message asking if he was okay.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:

ReleaseTheBlacken

A better approach would have been to say all your food has almond powder in it so don’t take it 😜

Occupational hazard of being a thief. Its not like he didnt know. its not like you havent been pushed into a corner and repeatedly disrespected and stolen from. I've baked exlax chocolate into brownies after a thief continued & continued to steal from me. And my food stopped being stolen from the work fridge.

Its not your fault you happen to like almonds. His mother is hellbent on wiping his nose and making excuses and you are not his mommy. You shouldnt have to be stolen from in your own home. Explain to mommy and to him again that any food you make is not allergen safe. If he wants to stay out of the hospital, he should eat his own food. NTA.

If you had the clause in the lease about food/groceries, it's time to evict him for breaking the lease.

15thcenturybeet

Wow eff that guy. You are NTA. Stealing food is such a gross violation. In your own home too!

NTA - You aren't responsible for his allergies. You've done your part and told him not to eat it. He is now facing the consequences.

Just four hours later, the OP returned with an update.

Okay, I didn’t expect this post to get this much attention. First, I just wanted to apologize for any misunderstandings in my original post, I reread it and there’s a lot of vague details. Anyways, I’m waiting at the hospital right now and a few things have come to light that I want to clarify, so here’s an update:

First off, I’ve edited the original post earlier to address some key points people were raising about the legal issues. I did make my roommate sign a roommate agreement when we first moved in together, and it clearly stated that our food and groceries were not to be shared.

I put that in there because I knew our eating habits were different. Note that he followed this agreement in the beginning perfectly fine. Now, on to the update. So first, I didn’t know this until NOW, but it turns out my roommate has a binge eating disorder.

I’m not too sure what that is but apparently he just has a constant urge to eat without being able to control himself. I’m assuming this is why he started eating my food all of a sudden after he found out I wasn’t using nuts in my cooking.

However, I didn't know about this since he didn’t disclose this to me. I’m pissed at this revelation. If he was struggling with issues like that, couldn’t he have told me so maybe I would of just cooked for the both of us and had him pay equally towards food?

Also, I’m quite confused since if he can’t control what he wants to eat, wouldn’t he have eaten food even if he thought there were nuts in it? So why did he start later on? But anyways, the main point is that he has a binge eating disorder.

Also, I'd like to clarify that I didn’t realize how serious using an EpiPen is. A lot of my friends were downplaying the situation, telling me that it wasn’t a big deal because my roommate didn’t end up in the hospital for long, and he was texting his friends not long after.

Turns out, that was misinformation. It was his mom contacting people through HIS phone. I admit, its my fault for being gullible. Now that I think about it, the mom literally used his phone to call me, of course she had the freaking phone.

But I want to clarify that I now realize how serious it is for someone to have to use an EpiPen. I only have skin allergies myself, so I didn’t fully grasp how bad it was until now. I wanted to clarify that.

Anyways, fortunate news for those people who said I was going to be sued: His mom decided not to sue! Well, it's because of her son's binge eating disorder. THE THING IS, this is so dumb but apparently she thought that I knew he had this condition, which is why she was so freaked out when she found out he had ingested nuts.

Basically, she thought I was aware of his psychological issues, and being a considerate roommate or something. If that were the case, yeah, I totally understand why she started crying. BUT did you guys know?

Apparently this 27 year old MANCHILD told her that I KNEW??? That’s such a horrible lie to tell her, and I’m pissed. If I knew that he had this type of disorder, I would of probably made him pay me for groceries. Oh, and the effort of cooking of course.

Honestly, I talked with his mom a lot because I did feel bad he was hospitalized, but the more I talked with her, the worse I felt for her. Her manchild of a son doesn’t even know how to cook, so when he lived with her, he would apparently just order delivery and never clean anything up. He at least cleans up after himself sometimes when he's with me but Jesus.

She told me that he frequently causes problems for her, and she started crying again. She apparently spent a lot of money because of him. This made me feel bad, and honestly i'm considering helping her out with the hospital fee. I can’t afford to just pay it for her but she’s been through enough.

Anyway, he’s going to move out. That’s it. To everyone telling me that the mother was gonna sue and what not, thankfully you’re wrong (thankfully). But even if she tried, I would’ve fought it. I understand comments saying it’s dangerous.

Honestly, I’ll admit it. In the beginning, from your guys’ perspective, I was an asshole. “I thought he had a very serious allergy yet I fed him nuts.” But here is my side of the story: I thought the worst that would happen was he feels irritation in his throat, or maybe it would hurt a bit.

Plus, I knew that he has allergy medication so I thought that they would just stop the allergy. Because for my skin allergy (I have a brass allergy) I just need to put some cream and whatnot (I just get blisters and itchy skin for a few hours and its considered severe so I thought it wouldn’t be much different for food).

Also, I’d like to clarify that I put a very small amount of powder. Like, nut allergy or not, I put a similar amount to the amount of cheese you’d sprinkle on top of your carbonara (for those who don't eat carbonara, its not even a spoonfuls worth).

This is because I literally was going to EAT it myself. For the people who said I should’ve put laxatives or stuff, I really understand I shouldn’t have messed with his allergies but cheese isn't really the cheapest thing where I live. I was honestly craving Mac and cheese which is why I chose to eat Mac and cheese.

Also, for those saying I intentionally poisoned him, I would like to emphasize how that was NOT my intent. However, I have learned and I now understand why you say that.

I was ignorant, but hes alive so all the hypothetical “what if he died cause he was poisoned” are kind of useless. That’s like me telling you to not drive, because you have a high chance of crashing: “what if you die leaving your family to mourn your loss?”

Don’t focus on what didn't happen please. Honestly, at the time I wrote the post, I was feeling super defensive. But when I learned that the allergies could be life-threatening, I started to panic but my friends comforted me saying that the allergies aren't too bad. Well, some friends.

Another short update is that a bunch of people unfriended me on instagram because of that but that's their choice. Anyway, the post blew up. I didn't really think it would, but that's life.

Also, for the people telling me to delete the post: maybe I will. But at the same time, I’m not getting sued so I’m kind of in the clear for now. I hate how specific I have to be about everything, this situation is just dumb. RIP to my lurking account.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:

A full update after only 4 hours? And magically every problem is fixed? Oh, Icarus...

forkinthemud

Holy Lord, wonder what the prompt was to spit this "story".

I don't get how anyone believes this nonsense.

you put something in the food you knew he would eat that you also knew would make him sick. I legit don't understand how that can be described as anything OTHER than poisoning someone.

armchairwarrior42069

You're... incredibly dumb if this is real. "I have no idea how serious or allergy is or how epi pens work. Let me trick you into eating it". "Bro, I'd fight it if they sued me. Because of a lease agreement about sharing food. This will certainly take precedence over... poisoning some one" Also "he ate the poison so I left him alone". Genius.

You're either a combination of genuinely dumb and a genuinely bad person or this is entirely fake. If this is real and you're still justifying your behavior, go to therapy. YTA. Your friends are right, you're a psycho.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit,Reddit
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