'AITA for (politely) complaining about a screaming child in a restaurant?' 'I even suggested coloring books.'

"AITA for (politely) complaining about a screaming child in a restaurant?"

I went to a local restaurant with family at the weekend. It’s a local spot, known for good food, not fancy or anything, just a nice place with a mix of adults, families, older couples, etc. I ordered lunch, the food and service were good. But for almost the entire time I was there, a child at the next table was screaming. Full-on shrieking for like 30+ minutes.

Now, I’m not clueless. I get that children cry. But this wasn’t a two-second fuss , it was nonstop, ear-splitting, stressful crying. I left early because I had a literal headache. Nobody said anything to the parents, there were no staff attempts to intervene, and it honestly wrecked the experience.

Later that day, I sent a very polite message to the restaurant. I said the food and service were excellent, but that the constant noise made it hard to enjoy the meal. I didn’t demand a refund or trash them online. I even suggested they consider offering coloring books or, when a child is that upset, gently suggesting the parent step outside to settle them, ideas meant to make future visits better for everyone.

She said (paraphrasing): “Crying babies are a normal part of family dining, and if that distressed you, you may not be familiar with family-friendly restaurants.” I sat there blinking at my screen like… what?

And THEN she explained that the mum actually did take the baby outside, and that the dad apologized profusely to the staff because the child had missed their nap after a christening.

So let me get this straight:

The parents knew it was disruptive and tried to fix it.

The dad was so apologetic, he made a point of saying sorry to staff.

The mum had to walk around the car park and didn’t get to eat her meal. …But I’m the one who’s out of line for suggesting the noise was a problem? Her tone made it sound like I was some cold-hearted monster who stormed in demanding silence from all children.

I wasn’t. I was calm, respectful, and genuinely trying to offer useful feedback, and somehow I got painted as the villain. I didn’t reply again because clearly the manager wasn’t open to hearing anything that didn’t come with glowing praise.

But it’s been bugging me ever since. Was I wrong to say anything? Should I have just stayed silent and accepted that screaming children are now part of dining out?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

EmphaticallyWrong said:

NAH. You provided constructive feedback with offers for solutions. The manager said “I hear you and I think you are wrong; go away." The manager’s response surprises me a little bit (no sorry at all?) even though they have a point that there are things going on that you don’t see. But I wouldn’t be offended and would move on.

bumpygirl said:

NTA. You were not rude and gave fair feedback. Wanting a meal without 30 minutes of screaming is not unreasonable. The manager’s response says more about them than you.

nn1197 said:

YTA (politely). You sound like a miserable person, a crying child is normal and the parents were probably already stressed given they were apologetic towards staff. To go out of your way to complain and offer useless advice afterwards is so sad.

historicityWAT said:

NTA. And those parents need to parent their kid and demonstrate that there are consequences for behaving like that in public. And generally those consequences = leaving the restaurant.

notsoreligiousnow said:

I’m gonna say YTA. If the restaurant isn’t fancy and expensive or the kind that requires valet, reservations & a suit, the kid was entitled to be there. As it was billed as family friendly, then you should know families frequent it. Rather than leaving and letting it go, you had to make it the manager’s problem. You sound insufferable.

Glittering_Animal395 said:

NTA. More parents and guardians need to understand the "social sacrifices" they need to make when they have babies, unsocialized toddlers, and unsocialized big kids. Theaters, out to restaurants that aren't fast food or waffle house, tennis matches, golf, these things are not for parents with kids who they know will cry loudly and become a nuisance for all the other patrons.

crambaza said:

NTA. Let me start with a detour. Crying babies on an airplane, totally acceptable. Air travel is the only option for lots of scenarios. Those babies have no idea what’s going on with the pressure changes and their poor little ears must get so sore.

Eating at a restaurant? If your little Angel can’t handle it, get the f out of there. You are ruining it for everyone trust. And there’s no problem calling it out. I say this as a parent.