Someecards Logo
ADVERTISING
'My wife broke down yesterday because I got my polyamorous partner an emotional gift.' + Update

'My wife broke down yesterday because I got my polyamorous partner an emotional gift.' + Update

ADVERTISING

"My wife broke down yesterday because I got my polyamorous partner an emotional gift. Was I wrong?"

So my wife(34 F) and I (35M) have been married for 8 years now, and we have a 7 year old boy. We decided to open up our relationship last year to spice up our bedroom life.

It hurt me a little bit when she brought up the topic, but I agreed because I loved my boy, and still loved her. We set a couple of rules, to not bring a partner at home, try not to form an emotional bond, and to have your partner tested and to also get yourself tested regularly.

Well it’s been a year, and to be fair, our bedroom life has been amazing since we opened the relationship. My wife definitely has had a lot more success than me, which isn’t that surprising. She’s a catch. She’s been with a lot of great looking guys the past year, it’s honestly a confidence booster, as weird as that sounds.

Well the issue now pertains to a woman (F30) who I met on Bumble. She’s the only person I’ve been talking to since opening up the relationship. She knows that I’m married, and I have been truthful to her about everything.

There’s no emotional connection between us whatsoever but I love talking to her, and we have vibed really well. She had a traumatic childhood, especially when her mother passed away when she was 14.

She was really close to her, and also has her name tattooed over her heart. She never wants a relationship ever because she feels she’s too broken to have one but she loves the connection we have. We’ve given each other lots of small gifts over the past year.

Her birthday is coming up on Sunday, and I spent a lot of time on her gift. I am giving her a personalized photo watch with her mom’s photo. I also had her mom’s initials engraved below the watch. I went to great lengths to customize it.

I was packing up the watch yesterday in a gift box when my wife came over and asked me about the gift. She knows about her, and how close I’ve gotten with her. I showed her the gift and the letter I had written.

Well I didn’t expect what happened after that. She completely broke down and started crying really hard, I was honestly stunned because she gave no indications about this whatsoever.

I panicked a bit because I’ve never seen her cry this much, so I spent a lot of time consoling her. We spoke for a bit, and she said she was being completely unreasonable but it just hurt her seeing how much thought and effort I was putting into my relationship with my partner.

I assured her that that there is zero emotional connection between us. I will always love only my wife and my child, but my wife's seemed completely in a shell since yesterday. Was I overstepping my limits with the gift?

Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's original post:

Medium-Fudge459

You don’t have an emotional connection? Then what the heck do you have with her? Everything you described is VERY emotional.

Edit: I’m just pointing out that this is emotional. This whole arrangement is a dumpster fire. I’m not saying the wife didn’t have this coming or anything else. Simply pointing out that the gift was definitely emotional and they said nothing emotional. Once again stupid BUT that’s what OP said.

PalpitationSweaty173

“I have no emotional connection with this woman so I gave her the most emotional and personalized gift I could ever think of” -OP

MrsBarneyFife

Remember, he also went to great lengths to have it customized.

Lanky_Championship72

I can see the emotional attachment in his how you write about the bond you share, speaking about her, extremely thoughtful gift you purchased after she shared very personal trauma and pain she’s experienced. You may not be in love, maybe your side thing is a “best friend with benefits” but to say you aren’t emotionally attached sounds not right either…

ooooomyyyyy

The “vibes” your feeling are emotions. You have formed an emotional connection.

The next day, the OP returned with an update.

"Update: My wife broke down yesterday because I got my polyamorous partner an emotional gift. Was I wrong?"

Well I did not expect to get an overwhelming number of responses, and in all honesty, I was a bit overwhelmed with it all. I am probably not being honest with myself about the entire situation, it’s just extremely scary to think about.

I do not want to break apart my household, I want the best for our son. My wife has just not been herself since yesterday. It has been a somber home atmosphere. She took off work today and even tomorrow. Even our son has noticed the change in her demeanor.

Look, I love my wife. I have loved my wife for the last decade and will continue to love her the rest of my life regardless of what she does. That will never change. She’s an amazing mother to our son.

But I probably haven’t been entirely truthful to myself about my feelings towards my partner. I don’t know if what we have can be described as an emotional connection, but I think it’s something deeper than that, and something I don’t have even with my wife, and have never had with her. It is also something deeper than love.

One of the comments asked what I would do if my wife wanted to switch back to a monogamous relationship. I had never thought about it until then. But I have thought about it for a few hours since reading that comment, and it hurts me deeply to say, but I would want to leave my wife if she wanted to switch back to a monogamous relationship.

And that thought is extremely scary. But I am firm in that decision after having spent hours thinking about it. We will see what the future holds. This is going to be my final update, and I am probably going to delete my account soon for the sake of anonymity and mental peace.

Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's update:

CinnamonHart

Well, your marriage is over. Maybe you won’t divorce for some time, but there’s no coming back from this.

rokd

This 1000%. Going to be a bumpy ride.

Medium_Confidence484

I'm also somewhat confused by his choice of his gf. Like, she openly said she doesn't want a real relationship, so he's going to sacrifice his marriage assuming she'll change her mind? I get being in love and not wanting to settle, but protect yourself and your family. Don't end your marriage in the hopes that your unstable girlfriend will settle down with you.

chosbully

You just said you don't love your wife more than your other partner. She knows it. Your other partner knows it. That's why your wife had a meltdown. You're not "being honest with yourself", you're hedging your bets.

EDIT: The very many misogynistic comments and DMs who have zero reading comprehension and brain worms, will be blocked. Thanks. instead of projecting your issues on strangers on the Internet, maybe try cognitive behavioral therapy.

Prestigious-Owl165

Bro.

"I don’t know if what we have can be described as an emotional connection."

Uh huh.

"but I think it’s something deeper than that, and something I don’t have even with my wife, and have never had with her. It is also something deeper than love."

Do you hear yourself? I'm not sure if you know what the word "emotional" means...can we just all get on the same page and say with 100% certainty that there is a clear and obvious emotional connection here? And with like 90% certainty that OP is actually in love with this woman, and his wife knows it, and wife just realized the marriage was over but OP hasn't quite caught up lol.

LittleLordFuckleroy1

“I don’t have an emotional connection with this person, help my wife is overreacting” to “actually yeah I am in love, I may end my marriage” is a wild swing. Yikes is about all I’ve got.

So, what do you think? What is the right move here? If you could give the OP any advice, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit,Reddit
© Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc

ADVERTISING
Featured Content