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'AITA for possibly making my parents homeless?' UPDATED

'AITA for possibly making my parents homeless?' UPDATED

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"AITA for possibly making my parents homeless?"

This isn't just me, it includes my twin brother. My brother and I (17m) were an accidental pregnancy. For context, our oldest sibling is 37 and has a kid who goes to our high school. Our nearest sibling in age is 28. My parents always made it clear that we weren't supposed to exist. They were never abusive or neglectful or anything, but they were kind of cold our whole childhood.

My brother and I will graduate high school in about a week, and will be 18 in two weeks. My parents have told us that as soon has we turn 18, we will have to pay rent. Neither of us have jobs, and we probably won't be able to get jobs right now.

I confided in my sister that I'm really stressed about this, and she offered to let my brother and I stay with her while we're in University, completely free of charge. I'm really grateful for this, and we're planning on accepting her offer.

I told my parents about this, and they freaked out. I guess my mom was planning to move to part time work and they needed rent from my brother and I to keep up with rent. They said that they have provided for us our whole lives, and we should pay them back now that we're almost adults.

I mean, it's true. They have given us everything we needed for 18 years, and I really don't want them to be homeless if they can't afford the rent, but I don't know how I would even afford to live with them. AITA?

Edit- my brother and I both have some savings, so we could conceivably pay rent for a few months. I also feel guilty moving in with my sister, because she has three little kids and a cat to take care of, and I don't want to put any extra strain on her. None of my siblings have a great relationship with our parents, so my parents won't ask them for help.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

NTA. Your parents are completely in the wrong. They have 6 children, four of whom are actual ADULTS, and their life plan is relying on 2 not even 18 years old financially? That makes no sense.

You do not owe your parents anything, to be quite honest. Whether or not you were an accident, you are their child, and in that regard they owe you. You do not owe them by virtue of them having birthed you. If they need financial assistance, they should go to their ADULT children.

Don’t worry about getting a job. Worry about your education and your emotional wellbeing. Go and live with your sister and let your parents figure their own lives out. That’s not your responsibility.

OP responded:

There are actually six of us, I have four adult siblings, plus my twin brother. Thanks. I was worried about going to school and working to pay rent, but I guess I should just take the good things that come to me.

said:

NTA. It is literally their job as parents to provide for you for the first 18 years. You owe them nothing for that

said:

NTA - They’re truing to take advantage of you. When I turned 18, my parents would have let me stay with them for free, if that was what I needed while going to school. They shouldn’t be using you and your brother for extra income. Live with your sister.

said:

Since no one else said it: "My parents always made it clear that we weren't supposed to exist. They were never abusive or neglectful or anything, but they were kind of cold our whole childhood." What you are describing here, is abusive! Not physically, but psycologically. If your parents made you feel like you shouldn't exist, that is psycological abuse, without a doubt.

said:

NTA. You aren't responsible for your parents.

Three weeks later, OP shared this update:

Hey folks! It's been like three weeks and many, many things have happened. I graduated high school (go me!), I turned 18, and I moved out! I finally feel like I'm adulting, kind of. I moved in with my sister the day after my birthday, and I've been living with her for a bit over two weeks. It's been really weird.

They do all of this stuff in her house that we never did as kids. Family dinners every night? Never done it once until now. My sister and her fiance carve out blocks of time to spend with the kids! My parents never did that.

My oldest nephew (he's 10) dropped an open can of pineapple in the kitchen a few days ago. I expected him to get yelled at, but my sister just helped him clean it up and told him to grab a new can from the pantry. That was weird. My parents were never that chill.

When I was a kid I would see these perfect families on TV, (shoutout to dinosaur train lmao) and my parents always told me that those kinds of parents didn't exist. That it was all made up for TV. That real parents don't take that much of an interest in their kid's lives and interests. I believed them until now.

In the past few weeks, I've seen my sister and her fiance spend hours making model planes with my oldest nephew, or rocking the youngest to sleep when she was overtired. That stuff never happened when I was a kid.

My niece (she's 4) woke up in the middle of the night last week, crying about something. Instead of telling her to stfu and go to bed, my sister's fiance got up and sat with her until she fell asleep. I guess I was just surprised that my experiences aren't the norm.

Anyway, both my brother and I are doing really well here. My brother has been cooking a lot (he's going to culinary school), and everyone seems to really appreciate it. I've been spending time with my nieces and nephew and I have played more Minecraft these past two weeks than I think I've played in my entire life.

This is all just a very long winded way to say thanks. If I hadn't posted here, I don't think I would have moved out. My savings would basically be drained, and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. So thank you. Now I guess it's time to see if I can figure out how to do an update post.

Edit: Shoutout to my sister for basically raising me for twelve years and also being an amazing parent. I could just go and say all this to her face but there's so many stairs in this house and I'm lazy.

Sources: Reddit,Update
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