'AITA to potentially abandon my 76-year-old ill mother-in-law?' 'There could be significant inheritance.'

"AITA to potentially abandon my elderly ill MIL?"

Two years ago my 76 yo MIL moved in with my husband and I after hubs step dad passed away. Hubs has always done and gone whatever he wants when he wants, and is very much a high-functioning alcoholic.

I gave up years ago and checked out mentally knowing financially I couldn’t leave and knowing what I married now I live with it. Fast forward to his mom moving in. Several times she has been hospitalized resulting in her needing almost total care upon returning home.

Which I do around my full-time work schedule. She keeps rebounding but can’t have too much more fight in her. COPD, Emphysema, still smokes like a chimney. Anyway. Recently my own step mom passed away about a year after my dad, her husband.

It seems there could be significant inheritance and am I the ahole to use this to finally leave a situation that has kept me in misery for almost 10 years? Or do I wait until MIL inevitably passes? He will not take care of her like I do and someday doesn’t even see her because he doesn’t like “going in her room.”

He doesn’t grasp how frail she is and has actually suggested she is “playing” up her symptoms for attention. He is and always has been a narcissist, but that’s a story for a different day.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

missdeb99912 said:

NTA. Take the money and run. Divorce your husband before your husband can lay claim to that inheritance. Suck it up, and get out. Live on friend’s couches in the meantime. Speak with an estate lawyer and a divorce attorney ASAP. Get the F out.

Humble_Guidance_6942 said:

NTA. You have been a saint doing a favor for others. The universe is sending you a lifeline. Life is too short to stay in a bad marriage when you can choose a different life.

SushiGuacDNA said:

NTA. Your MIL belongs to your husband. Leave him. Leave her to him.

curiousity60 said:

NTA. If there is an inheritance, keep it completely separate from any and all shared marital funds/assets. Comingling it with shared money is the only way you could lose exclusive control over it. So definitely don't do that. A new bank account at a different bank than your shared marital assets are for building your escape fund and storing your separate assets.

MissVnKY said:

NTA: “Get out, Leave." You have to have some happiness. “Putting up with” it, is NOT living. That’s EXISTING!

24Giraffes said:

NTA. Get an attorney and get out. He doesn’t have to take care of his mother now because you do it all. He’ll have to step up or hire someone. Enjoy living for you for once.

mechanicalpencilly said:

Not your mom. Not your problem...yeah they'll talk nasty about you but take the money and enjoy your life.