Pregnant bride plans to wear her mother-in-law's bridal gown instead of stepmom's, 'my SIL's furious.' AITA?
"AITA for agreeing to wear my MIL’s wedding dress for my wedding?"
So, I (26F) am getting married in three months to my fiancé (34M). It's going to be a small ceremony at my grandparents’ house. I know it’s kinda late to be talking about dresses, but I was originally planning to wear my stepmom’s wedding dress. It’s a beautiful dress that I love, and it means a lot to me because she’s the one who raised me and loved me when my bio mom didn’t want me.
But here’s the thing: while planning the wedding, I got pregnant. I’m three months along now, so I’ll be six months pregnant at the wedding. The dress from my stepmom is tight-fitting and there’s no way it’s going to fit a six-month baby bump. I was devastated, not because I’d have to buy a new dress, but because I really wanted that special mother-daughter bond on my wedding day.
Last weekend, I was venting about it to my MIL, and I broke down crying. She then said she’d be honored if I wore her wedding dress. She showed it to me, and it’s a stunning vintage dress from the ‘70s with a boho/hippie vibe, gorgeous embroidery, and funnily enough, she was pregnant when she wore it too. She made me feel so loved and welcome, so I accepted.
The issue is, my MIL has a daughter (my SIL), and when she found out I got the dress, she was furious. She actually came over to my house trying to take the dress back, and even said I was “living in sin” for getting pregnant before marriage (??). My fiancé just kicked her out and told me not to worry since she’s always thought the dress was ugly and never wanted it.
Still, she and my FIL have been harassing me on social media and through messages. Even though my fiancé and MIL don’t care what my SIL thinks, I kinda feel like a jerk because if my mom did something like this, I’d probably feel a bit hurt too. So, AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
freerange_chicken said:
NTA. SIL can feel some kind of way about you wearing the dress, but her behavior is out of line. It’s sweet that your MIL offered you the dress. I love that for you! In my view, SIL could view eventually also wearing the dress as something special you share instead of reacting like this. My mom and her two stepsisters all wore the same vintage (read: hand-me-down) dress and they cherished it!
Fit-Challenge-1828 said:
NTA. Though I understand the outrage over your mom letting someone else wear her wedding dress before you, her own daughter. However, that is an issue between your SIL and MIL. SIL should not have harassed you because it was MIL who decided that and you simply accepted.
Common-Dream560 said:
Kinda ironic that her own mother wore it while pregnant but she’s bashing you for doing the same. NTA and block SIL - MIL is the only one that matters here.
Hari_om_tat_sat said:
NTA. At most, I’d defer to MIL. Tell her SIL is upset over you wearing the dress and wants it back. Offer to return it to MIL if she agrees with SIL. You’ll have taken SIL’s feelings into consideration, after that it’s between SIL & her mother.
TheDrunkScientist said:
NTA. Your MIL chose to let you wear the dress. It's her decision. Block FIL and SIL. They don't get a say in this.
esmerelofchaos said:
Definitely NTA. Your fiancé is clearly used to his sister’s shenanigans. SIL’s beef should be with her mom. But it’s not because she likely knows it’ll get nowhere.
Mediocre-Victory-565 said:
NTA - It's MIL's dress to do with what she wants. I understand SIL being hurt but that's a convo between her and her mother, you have nothing to do with that situation.