'AITA for crying at my gender reveal?'

"AITA for crying at my gender reveal?"

I'll try to make this short. I have 2 children (both boys)...I'm currently pregnant with my 4th after a loss. My mil offered to be the gender keeper. She got the confetti cannons...

This is my last pregnancy so I wanted to do a small reveal with close family and friends. My last was during a few years and we had to skip all the cutsie things... I have 2 boys and of course would adore a little girl...

I would also be happy keeping my boy mom crown! But damn a little girl would just be so freaking sweet. We get to the cannons. Mil hands us both a cannon. Husband gets his to go first and all I see is pink confetti...the sweetest surprise....my life with a daughter flashing in my mind...

Hugging my husband...tears shed...I was shaking happy.. (I'm always very calm and collected when I'm excited)...my mom crying happy for me.. this is the biggest best surprise I've ever had. I was expecting a 3rd boy.

But soon after celebrating, my MIL interrupts. Telling me I have to do mine too. I was so excited to see the pink confetti from my husband's that I never set mine off. I am assuming it's also pink...because I'm not having twins. But instead it's blue...I instantly regret my initial ecstatic response.

Why are there both colors now? She then hands us the "real' cannons"... and they both pop blue. Of course I can't match my previous energy. I hugged my husband and people around me and excused myself.

And I cried. And I haven't really stopped for hours now...Don't get me wrong...I am so incredibly thankful for the opportunity to have any children and i know health is number 1...That isn't lost on me.

But it's as if I had this space in time where my dream of a daughter came true.. and I experienced the joy of having a girl join my crazy boy filled family...and now I'm grieving that.

I know I'll love my son with all my heart and I am not upset he's a boy at all...it's just the Rollercoaster to find out who he was...broke my heart today. I feel like a Jerk for being so upset.. but all this happened in front of an audience.. I'm so embarrassed.. & this happy video taken of the reveal isn't even real. It's a moment in time I got my heart broken.

I don't understand the humor even if everything had gone according to plan ?.. what was the point? I didn't find the humor...or what the end goal was. AITA for being upset?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Availfghfc said:

NTA That’s a really cruel joke.

NatashOverWorld said:

It's only funny when the actual parents are doing the fake outs. You don't give the expecting mother one news and then change it, because it can fail badly, like IT DID HERE! MIL is a fool. NTA.

winterworld561 said:

Your mother in law needs to be spoken to about her cruel joke. It's not right to mess with peoples emotions like that. It's sick.

Far-Juggernaut8880 said:

NTA- your MIL was very inappropriate… rude… ahole for doing that. Your crying is reaction to that and not having a boy.

MisselthwaiteGardens said:

NTA! Even if there was no trick and you pulled blue from the beginning, you’re allowed to feel sad. I don’t think you would have as much, then though because, like you said, you had these false hopes. Even your mom was jumping excitedly. NTA, and not a “funny joke” either.

theabozeman said:

NTA. Incredibly awful “joke,” especially after a loss. You weren’t upset about the gender, you were upset about the “prank.” Take care of yourself, mama.

Edits from OP after reading the comments:

Mil did quickly apologize at the end of the night. After spending the rest of the time scrolling her phone.. Honestly, I didn't want to talk to her. I gave her a hug and walked away to be polite. I'd like to think it wasn't meant to be cruel... as I thought we had a good relationship. I have helped her in a lot of ways I won't get into here..

That being said. Even had everything gone "according to plan" I don't understand what the point is? Confusion at best?. I don't see what the humor was in it. I had thought the same as many. A completely gender neutral cannon would have been better and would have left no room for error.

She even said she meant to give my husband the blue one . Thinking there was a chance he'd get his to pop first, which just makes me think she did realize things could go wrong and still decided this would be funny.

Yes, we were to set them off at the same time. But of course, there's room for error. Which unfortunately happened. I saw the first one go off pink and was so excited. I assumed mine would be pink too logically... My husband was also happy, he thought we were finally adding a girl to our family. He wasn't happy about the joke either. And I've told him I'm going to need space from his mom for now.

Comments about me not being happy it was a boy. I'm completely content and happy with any baby. I love my boys with all my heart. And i love this baby with all my heart. My second was born a birth defect that we spent lots of time correcting in and out of the hospital his first year and continue to monitor..

I understand what is important here. And that's a happy, healthy baby. It was the fact that I had the rug ripped out from under me (with an audience ) that I'm upset about. After two of the same gender I'm assuming parents would be happy for either... but I think many parents would have a little spark of hope to experience the other side.

As far as gender reveals. I wanted a small thing for my last baby. If you think they're dumb af don't have one..? Also my cannons were confetti .. and popped inside my home. I didn't kill any wildlife, set a whole county on fire or murder anyone in the process.. although it crossed my mind by the end of the night lol.. ( jk) ..

Ty everyone for the nice comments.. and the reassurance I'm not out of line with my feelings.. pregnancy can be an emotional Rollercoaster..