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'AITA for not wanting a hotel upgrade from my husband's ex? I knew he loved her.'

'AITA for not wanting a hotel upgrade from my husband's ex? I knew he loved her.'


"AITA for not wanting a Hotel Upgrade from my Husband's Ex?"

I 35(F) and my Husband 36(M) have been married for 5 years and together for 8. We will be having out first baby in 3 months and decide to take a Babymoon to a Resort Spa in Florida.

We booked a basic room under my Husband's name. Upon check-in the Attendant said that we had been upgraded to the Presidential Suite with full concierge service and comp Spa treatments.

We thought this was very strange. The attendant assured us that we would only be charged our original rate. We asked who did it so we can thank them, thinking it was a family member or a close friend.

The attendant said sometimes it happens for special occasions. On the reservation it asked the reason for the visit and we said we were having a baby. We were still a bit skeptical, but accepted the answer.

The next day as we came back from the beach there was a different attendant. We went over to just double check about our room. She confirmed what the previous one said about the rate. I asked does this happen often and she said "No. They might get a free meal or one special spa service, but nothing like you all have."

When we inquired about how we got this she stated that this can only be approved by the Senior General Manager and said the name of my husband's ex-girlfriend. We were both shocked as he has not spoken to her in like 9 years. They had a very intense relationship and I know he loved her in a very special way but distance ended it, otherwise they would still be together.

My husband was visibly thrown at her name and was distracted the rest of the day. I guess I knew he loved her but seeing his reaction to this gesture had me worried. The next day he apologized and said that he was moved by what she did and was just wondering about how her life is now and if she is happy.

I told him I wanted to switch back to the room we booked if he was going to be thinking of her the whole time. He said he wasn't and wanted me to enjoy this gift despite how we got it.

I explained that I was no longer comfortable since this was supposed to be about us and our new baby and now it is about her. He felt I was being unreasonable and switching rooms wasn't going to change anything. I insisted and we got them to change it back.

Later I told my Mom, Sister and Friends. They all thought I overreacted and should have stayed in the room. At first I thought I did the right thing but now am not so sure.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

MidwestPanic69 said:

YTA, it is a nice gesture. It'd be one thing to be uncomfortable if they broke up immediately before you got pregnant, but it ended 10 years ago.

He was also open and said he was moved and wondering how she is doing - which, alright, I wouldn't love that either, but still - this definitely reads more as insecurity versus anything untoward from ex to hubby.

Tls-user said:

YTA - his ex did an incredibly kind thing and was obviously trying to keep it a secret so that there was no awkwardness. Your insecurities ruined what should have been a wonderful experience.

CaffeinatedMum said:

YTA. That's an amazing anonymous gift to receive and if you didn't know who gave it to you, would you still have accepted it? Your husband's ex sounds like a class act. She didn't cancel your room or give you a crappy room.

She didn't even acknowledge it was her behind the upgrade. Get over your jealousy and accept that it was a nice thing. Your husband was super touched and it's not surprising he was curious how she's doing.

sc0tth said:

YTA. You're insecure. It was a nice gesture and you acted like a spoiled child.

Samorjj said:

YTA You took an incredibly kind (and was supposed to be anonymous) gesture and crapped in it. Had you not pushed, neither of you would have known it was her, so it wasn’t about her intruding on your weekend. She clearly cared about your husband and was happy to see him well.

reeserdog said:

YTA. Changing the room back was really childish. She probably just saw his name and wanted to do something nice. She didn’t even try to take credit for it. It was the two of you that pushed the issue. He is going to think about her whether or not you were in the room.

No one was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this couple?

Sources: Reddit
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