'AITA for snapping at my MIL and telling her we don’t need her money?'
"AITAH for snapping at my MIL and telling her we don’t need her money?"
I’m pregnant with twins and I’ve just entered my final trimester. Since telling my in-laws we were expecting my MIL has been begging to be in the delivery room to watch me give birth because she hasn’t had the opportunity to watch any of her grandchildren be born, she told me since twins aren’t common in my husband’s family but are in mine.
My mother shouldn’t be in the delivery room…she should. My husband and I have told her no countless times and she acts like she understands then she brings it up again.
During a family dinner party MIL cornered me and told me she’s bought a new phone so that I can call her when I’m in labor. I told her that was nice but I won’t be doing that and she’ll meet the twins when they’re 6 weeks like everyone else. MIL said “I’m not like everyone else, everyone else didn’t make the twins an a trust, everyone else didn’t volunteer to send the twins to private school etc."
We never asked her to do any of these things! We’re perfectly capable of taking care of our children without her help. She then told me if she’s not in the delivery room then we’re not getting a cent from her.
Finally (because of my crazy hormones and her audacity) I snapped at her and told her we don’t need her money and she’s twisted if she thinks we’ll let her do what she wants because she has money.
I told her she’s not the twins' mum and she should stay in a grandparents place. I firmly told her she’s not coming to watch me give birth, if she tries to come in my midwife will have her forcibly escorted out of the hospital. I told her these aren’t her babies no matter how many ugly bibs she buys that say so. I also told her she’s not in control of how I give birth.
I don’t care what she thinks and that an epidural will be entering my body, since I made the mistake of telling her my birth plan she’s sent me fear mongering Facebook posts about the dangers of epidurals. This is my first pregnancy and knowing my pain tolerance I know gas isn’t going to be enough.
I grabbed my husband and left, apparently after we left she came into the living room in tears. She told everyone she had kindly asked to be in the living room and I angrily verbally attacked her.
MIL says she thought I was going to beat her up. I’ve explained what actually happened and my in-laws are telling me subtly that I’m an AH and should just let her in my delivery room to avoid drama.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Cr1v3ns said:
NTA. On top of the reasons you already listed, she would probably tell you youre doing it wrong the whole time and she would hold those purchases over your head for sure in the future, "well I bought you this thing so I deserve "x!"
Karlito_74 said:
NTA, the people who tell you that you should give in to avoid drama are the problem as their behavior has enabled your MIL.
Odd-End-1405 said:
NTA. I don't get the whole "I need to be in the delivery room for my grandchildren's birth" mindset. Your mother being there is support for YOU....her child. But insisting on being in a room where a woman is her most vulnerable is just a creepy trend. This time is for the mother, and the father if the mother so desires. PERIOD. Stand strong...she is being WAY too invasive.
Sweaty_Technician_90 said:
NTA. Wow keep crazy grandma away.
NickelPickle2018 said:
NTA but her bad behavior needs a consequence. I would make her wait 8 weeks. Send a clear message that her inappropriate behavior will not be tolerated. If she shows up at your house unannounced, and another 8 weeks.