Pregnant woman 'steals' pregnant sister's spotlight, 'it's not my first baby.' AITA?

"AITA for announcing my pregnancy shortly after my sister's?"

I (f26) am married, my husband (m31) and I have a five year old boy, we're expecting our second baby (I'm 18 weeks now). My older sister (f31) is also married and she's expecting her first child (she's about 26 weeks). They had some issues getting pregnant and it took a while, our family knew this. I think I was very supportive, which is why I find her reaction out of place.

Three weeks ago we had a family gathering, I was going to announce that I'm pregnant then, but I didn't because I met up with my sister a few days prior and she told me about the baby and that she was planning to tell everyone in that gathering.

I understood that it was difficult for her since it's something that she's been really wanting, she waited a bit longer than I did with my first baby because she was scared of having a miscarriage, I totally supported her and I didn't tell her about my own pregnancy because I didn't want her to think I was stealing her spotlight (which ended up happening anyway).

She announced her pregnancy during our gathering and everyone congratulated her, it was good. Fast forward, last week I was talking to our brother's girlfriend, she noticed my pregnancy and I confirmed it.

Since she was planning a family gathering (they moved recently to a house with a garden, so they wanted to host a garden party) she told me that I could announce the pregnancy to our family at their party, I said sure (I was planning to send a text in the family's gc to share the news).

The day of the party came, my brother and his girlfriend cooked for us, it was nice. Then I told everyone that I am pregnant again, everyone of course congratulated me and started asking me the usual questions, how far along I was, how I was feeling, etc.

My sister however got upset, I noticed that she was looking off, so I asked her what was up (because I thought maybe she was feeling sick). She said that I'm such an egocentric b, that she knew I would do something like this to "steal her spotlight."

I asked her how I could do it on purpose if I didn't even know she was pregnant until very recently, she told me that either way I knew she was trying, but I don't think I should have to put my life in pause just for her?

We argued, she called me a lot of names, I called her names back, I admit it. She then told me that I didn't have to make such a big deal to announce my pregnancy since it's my second baby, not my first.

She also said that I was jealous of the attention she got before and that's why I had to make this about myself so everyone would pay attention to me and not her. I don't think I did anything wrong, but I clearly hurt her, so I'm wondering if maybe I am in fact an ahole and I should've kept the announcement low-key.

Here's what people had to say to OP about this one:

Pristine-Rhubarb7294 said:

NTA at 18 weeks the pregnancy was going to be announcing itself soon anyways. It was unavoidable.

Cracker_Bites said:

NTA. She's 26wks and you're 18wks. I get her wanting to wait but you're already in the clear and pretty obvious soon too. HOWEVER- info required - was she like this before pregnancy? Because there's a good chance there's some perinatal anxiety going on and she may need help navigating through it. For her sake and her baby.

And with a five year age gap, you're starting from scratch again, I reckon that's a pretty decent gap and to be honest, every bub is worth celebrating. It's not like you had a full on baby shower. It was an announcement amongst friends and family.

Curious_Vixen_Here said:

You shouldn't have reacted in kind to her name calling, but even then, NTA. She's calling YOU egocentric because she's upset you (momentarily) took the spotlight off HER? That says it all right there. She should be thrilled you two are going through the experience together, your kids will be so close in age, etc.

But, nope, all she cares about is not being the sole center of attention. You did nothing wrong. Congratulations, and I hope everything is smooth and healthy for all of you.

Rude-You7763 said:

NTA. The only thing I’d say you could have done differently is give her a heads up before announcing at the party but even still you’re not wrong.

RevolutionaryMap5412 said:

NTA, you delayed telling you’re own news so that she could have the attention to herself, and her implying that your second child should be celebrated less is nonsensical and ahole territory.

Melodic-Giraffe-2151 said:

NTA, you waited 2 weeks and you having a nice announcement doesn't take anything away from her. You should both be able to have the support of your families and it doesn't really matter if it's your first or second kid, either way you can both share the "spotlight," if anything it might be nice to go through it tgth and support each other.