Pregnant woman is upset over husband's 'harmless prank,' 'My whole body was shaking.' AITA?
"AITA for getting hurt and upset over a 'harmless prank' that my husband pulled?"
So me and my husband have been married for five years. We are currently f24 and m33. Way before we met, when I was 16, my mom’s house had a house fire that burnt literally everything down and sadly my childhood cat was also killed in it.
I remember my mom and brother waking me up screaming “fire, fire, get up, get up!” We crawled out under the smoke and luckily my neighbors had already called the fire department and they pulled us out. We lost literally everything. We were devastated.
So that was a while ago but it still really scares me, and I check outlets and our stove and candles and everything all the time. My husband knows this about me. So two nights ago I went to bed early because I am currently 34 weeks pregnant, literally about to pop.
I was sleeping for a while before for some reason, my husband decided to wake me up by yelling “baby! There’s a fire! Fire, fire, fire! Get up!”
As quick as I could get up at 34 weeks, I did, and grabbed my purse. I was just in automatic shock and just autopilot and knew I needed what to grab. I made it all the way down the stairs, yelling for my husband to follow me, before he started laughing and telling me it was a joke.
It took a minute for that to process. I stood there with an open mouth while he laughed and ushered me down the rest of the stairs. I sat down on the couch and just started sobbing.
It was genuinely the hardest I’ve ever sobbed, it’s like I couldn’t get myself to stop and my whole body was shaking. My heart was racing and I couldn’t breathe. I have never had this experience before, I was genuinely so panicked.
I was so upset. My husband apologized and was like “oh my god, I’m sorry, it was just a joke." I just cried until he eventually was like “what the f it was just a prank, this is really dramatic.”
After a few hours, I had calmed myself down and went to apologize to him. He wouldn’t take it. He said I was being over dramatic and made him feel like sh$t for a harmless prank. So I guess AITA? I’ve never been good at taking jokes, I’ve been trying to be less sensitive but idk.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ProfessionalAngst11 said:
You went to apologize to him!?! You were in a tragic event and have been mentally preparing for it just in case. That is some ptsd but a normal reaction. He took advantage of your fear. He needs to apologize to you.
RedditUser888889 said:
NTA. WTF is wrong with him for using abusing your past trauma for a prank? WTF is wrong with him for making an expectant mother fear for her life just for shits and giggles? WTF is wrong with him for putting the burden of guilt on you when when his life-and-death joke made you upset?
Bloodystupidjohnson3 said:
NTA. He literally thought this through, preyed on at least three deep fears, and the attempts to play the victim in all of this? Do you want that sort of influence around your child? I’m serious. Children learn by watching. If your husband is cruel enough to do this, I’d be worried what your child will pick up from him.
lostinthought1997 said:
NTA. What he did wasn't a prank or a joke. It was mental ABUSE. That is the behavior of a self-centred, compassionless child who has no regard for how much he hurts others. In an adult, that behavior is unacceptable.
Your apology shows him that he can abuse you & your future child in any manner he sees fit, as long as he utters the magic manipulative abuse phrase, "it was just a joke!"
Karma_1969 said:
NTA! You went to apologize to him? What for??? Does he have you that cowed that you think he was in the right here and you were somehow in the wrong? Oh, I see...
he's 9 years older than you. Do you think maybe there's a bit of a power imbalance in your relationship? And now you're having a baby with him...oh dear.
No, you're NTA. He should be apologizing to you, but I'm betting the chances of that happening are pretty slim, because he's a d. You two need marriage counseling, and you personally should bone up on your self respect, because he's clearly taking advantage of the fact that you don't have much of that. He's using you. I wish you the best of luck.