Why deny your future daughter a harmless weird uncle just because you don't approve of his casual, no-strings-attached Tinder romances? So, when a frustrated soon-to-be mom decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her brother-in-law's dating preferences, people were ready to help deem a verdict.
I (31F) am pregnant with a girl. My husband (33) has a younger brother (31) whose he's very close to. However I recently told my husband that I don't feel comfortable with the idea of his brother spending much time with my daughter once she's born. It's not because of my BIL himself. We're not close but he's fine. The issue is his life choices.
He's not married, has no intention of getting married or having kids, and dates only for sexual purpose. He dates multiple women and the only thing he has in common with them is that, like him, they are extremely good looking.
He's highly intelligent, yet he has no interest in meaningful relationships. I spoke to him about his choices a few years ago, and after accusing me of being 'moralistic', he claims that he always uses protection and he never leads the women on.
Which I call BS on, as I can't imagine any woman with an increasing ticking biological clock would willingly be in a relationship which she knows doesn't have a future. Not to mention, what woman would want to be with someone who may not even remember your name in a year's time?
I mentioned this to my husband, however he called me an as*hole, and said that it was ridiculous to limit our daughter's access with her uncle just because I don't agree with his legal dating choices. AITA?
EDIT: I probably should have clarified that he generally goes onto apps like Tinder. Which makes it worst, as the women he dates tend to be of a certain type.
madelinegumbo said:
YTA (You're the As*hole). It's 2023. It's okay for women to like sex outside of the quest to 'land' a husband. As long as he's being honest and safe, what's the problem?
pajamaset said:
It’s giving “my BIL rejected me”
sswoopd said:
The “Ticking biological clock” narrative is disgusting and archaic. Women aren’t just incubators.
QueenMoogle said:
YTA. Not everyone dates for marriage. Not everyone wants marriage, or long term relationships, or even short term ones. That doesn’t make them morally bankrupt. People who have life goals that don’t match yours aren’t morally bankrupt. Get off your high horse, pal.
veronica_vivian said:
Lol at “women on a Tinder are a certain type…” she really has a lot to unpack and it doesn’t even begin with BIL. YTA.
lostinRC said:
Yes, YTA. He's single not a predator. I also don't want marriage. There are a lot of us out here.
Everyone agreed in a beautifully unanimous way that this woman needs a harsh reality slap. Someone please find the time machine she rode in on and send her back to the Puritan party she deserves. Does she know that babies don't even know what Tinder is? Good luck at all future family holidays, everyone.