'AITA for pretending not to know my wife’s 'work husband' was just her coworker named Greg?'
"AITA for pretending not to know my wife’s 'work husband' was just her coworker named Greg?"
So here’s the deal: My wife (32F) has this coworker Greg. She always talks about how funny Greg is, how Greg brings her coffee, how Greg “just gets her sarcasm,” and how they’re basically work spouses.
Now, I (34M) am not the jealous type…but I’m absolutely the petty type.
Last weekend, we hosted a little get-together, and Greg was invited. This was my first time meeting him. The moment he walked in, I greeted him like he was my actual in-law.
I hit him with a:
“Oh my god, so YOU’RE Greg! I’ve heard so much about you. Do you prefer ‘Work Husband’ or just ‘Husband’?”
I then handed him a beer and said, “Thanks for taking care of my wife from 9 to 5. I take over on nights and weekends.”
He looked so uncomfortable. My wife pulled me aside and told me I was being “weird and embarrassing.” I said I was just trying to honor their sacred bond.
She says I crossed a line. I say if you’re gonna play fake-marriage, expect some fake-in-law energy.
AITAH for trolling my wife’s work husband?
The internet was quick to share their thoughts.
Bright_Drawer_801 wrote:
NTA. But this is probably a good moment to have a real, calm convo with your wife.
Something like:
"Look, I don't think you and Greg are having an affair, but l'd be lying if said it didn't get under my skin sometimes. joked because didn't know how else to say, 'Hey, l'm feeling weirdly left out here.' want to be your go-to person, even when you're being sarcastic or silly."
What you did wasn't malicious- but it was a signal that something about this Greg situation is bothering you.
The real issue isn't Greg or the joke it's probably that you feel sidelined or second to someone who's getting a lot of her attention and affection (even if it's platonic).
Your sarcasm was a form of setting a boundary, just in disguise.
Cute_Bandicoot_8219 wrote:
YTA. It's no terrible thing, but you shouldn't pull someone you don't even know into a spat between you and your wife. For all you know Greg has no idea what you're talking about and is just some dude at work your wife is using to make you jealous.
Should have felt out the situation better before trying to make a perfect stranger feel like s#$t. Now, if you get to know him a bit better and he's actually trying to move in on your wife, then f#$k Greg. Nothing makes me want to vomit more than a cheater or home wrecker.
Virtual-Emu3698 wrote:
You're obviously jealous but just hiding behind the "Oh no I'm just reaaally petty" bs and trying to seem cool. This sounds like something teenagers would do. Maybe next time just talk to your wife like an adult and communicate your feelings first instead of making an unnecessary scene.
errantis_ wrote:
You are TA. There’s nothing wrong with you challenging your wife’s behavior. It’s very questionable and I think most people would argue it’s inappropriate. However, embarrassing your wife publicly in front of coworkers really isn’t necessary. Don’t get me wrong, if you want to be petty and make your point privately and embarrass your wife privately thats fine.
Sure help her understand how you feel and be however petty you want. Not in front of her coworkers though. And you brought that poor guy into it. Dude probably just thought she was his work buddy. Now he is realizing he is the source of conflict in someone’s marriage and probably feels awkward as hell. He wasn’t looking for any of that.
I think there’s better more respectful ways you could have handled this. ALL THAT BEING SAID, if your wife is constantly talking to her friends and other people about her work husband, particularly people who were present when you confronted the work husband, then I take it all back. This is totally justified. She is embarrassing you publically, so you embarrass her publicly.
SweatyAnimator6189 wrote:
YTA. For claiming you’re not the jealous type when you wouldn’t feel the need to be petty in this way if you weren’t jealous.
You need to be honest with yourself and then talk to your wife. For all you know, he doesn’t have the same view of their work relationship as she does.
401Nailhead wrote:
Work husband/wife is so damn disrespectful. If your wife is talking about him constantly it indicates she likes him, a lot. NTA bud. Boundaries. Your wife needs them.
But, hey, I would loved to have seen Greg's face when you said those things. :)
Beatnik-Betty wrote:
You’re absolutely the jealous type. Don’t kid yourself. You did this as a power move to make him and your wife uncomfortable. Are you incapable of being honest with your wife? YTA.
Agitated-Contest651 wrote:
That’s kind of embarrassing IMO. Maybe you should have had a boundary conversation with your wife about it instead of socially ambushing a guest. What’s left out of the context is whether or not Greg has any idea how much your wife talks about him at home.
If he’s throwing the “work spouse” term around, sure. But if he’s just someone who thinks he gets along with a coworker, then what you did was pretty wack.
Mobius_Stripping wrote:
YTA. I mean why do that to this guy and make a scene when your issue is actually with your wife and her behaviors and actions? All you really did was give them more ammunition to bond over separately. I mean I get petty. But you could’ve done the same routine to her privately without that kind of display.