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'AITA for publicly dumping my GF after she had her friends follow and spy on us?' UPDATED

'AITA for publicly dumping my GF after she had her friends follow and spy on us?' UPDATED


"AITA for publicly dumping my girlfriend?"

Last night I(20m) went out with my ex-girlfriend(21f) on our 7th date. We were supposed to eat at a nice restaurant, go to a club and then spend the night at my dorm. I had reservations made for both the restaurant and the club and had my roommates stay clear of our dorm room for the night.

I picked up my ex and we went to the restaurant. Everything was going well until I went to the bathroom midway through our meal when I noticed three people(2f, 1m) in the booth next to ours. We live in a large town so it’s unlikely for you to meet the same strangers often and to be able to recognize then, which made the fact that I have seen the same people on all our dates really weird.

For our 4th date my ex took me hiking and I remember those three being 50m behind us the entire hike. When I came back from the bathroom I whispered to my ex to go to the bathroom and at look the booth the three of them were sitting at, to see if she recognizes them. Honestly it was weird and kind of creepy.

Ex got this really guilty look on her face and told me that those were her friends and that she has had them follow us in case I was a freak. Those were her exact words. I was shocked at first and then insulted. I asked her if six dates weren’t enough to figure out if I was a “freak” and why did she make plans with me for us to sleep together yesterday if she was afraid of me.

She told me to talk quietly because people could hear. I got even madder at that and told her she didn’t have to worry because I would never date her and to lose my number. I went to the bar, paid for the food that I ate and left.

Since then I have received messages from her and what I assume are her friend that I was rude to dump her publicly and not even paying for her food. Some even say that my reaction proves that I’m not to be trusted. I haven’t talked with my friends about this yet because it’s embarrassing honestly.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:


NTA. The first date, ok. A hiking date where she’s alone with you in the woods, maybe. But six dates? You dodged a bullet there.


NTA. First date is fine. But seven? If she wasn't sure you are not a freak why she went on hike with you? Why she agreed to spend the night together? Or did her friends plan to camp behind your dorm doors? Or would she invite them to the room saying "Don't mind them"?


NTA. What were they going to do if you two had actually had sex; wait outside your dorm room to make sure she comes out? It’s creepy.


3 people to follow you at the 7th date is way over the top and creepy. And why would you pay for her food after that? Lol … You dodged a bullet! NTA

Oncewasgold said:

NTA you’ve saved yourself from potentially having something serious with an absolute psycho and posse


Those are some very dedicated friends.


What oddballs her friends must be to go along with this, too! Don't they have lives?

And said:

You definitely avoided becoming a character in her horror flick! Phew! NTA!

He later shared this update:

Thanks for all the comments and support I appreciate it, because at one point I really started thinking that I might have been wrong. I wasn’t going to post anything else, but after what has happened I really want to share my misery.

I officially don’t feel sorry for dumping her and this whole incident has brought great enjoyment to my roommates. The woman and her friends are lunatics. I thought that everything was over after I blocked her and her friends, but no. Ex came to my dorm yesterday and wanted us to “clear up the misunderstanding”. It didn’t help that one of my roommates was there and that he laughed when he heard her.

She said that they are like a family and wanted to just make sure I would fit in with the group???? Honestly I still don’t get it and I have given up trying. And when I asked about the calls and messages she told me that they were mad that I ruined a possibly perfect relationship with the way I ACTED.

At that point how I didn’t get a stroke, I don’t know? I told her to get some help, to never come to my dorm room again and that if she sees we in a lecture to just pretend she doesn’t know me, because I’ll do just that, then I slammed the door in her face. Turns out that it was a mistake, because for the last day I have been receiving calls day and night calling me a freak, chauvinist, and sexist.

I had to turn off my phone at midnight because of them. Since I don’t know when they’ll get bored of this, tomorrow I’m getting a new number and I’ll be losing an entire work day going to banks, school, dorm and doctors to update my info.

Sources: Reddit
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