'AITA if I publicly expose my mom's lies about me on Facebook?' UPDATED

"WIBTA for exposing my Mum's Facebook fantasies?"

I (28F) moved in with my conservative parents for a few months earlier this year because they needed help around the house. During that time, like many people, I launched myself into baking. It's always been a special hobby as I'm pretty shy and baking things for people I care about is one of the few ways I can express myself.

Over the years when I've made something challenging my Mum (65F) has insisted I send her photos. I always thought it was cool that she was interested and would send her lots of pictures. Needless to say, when I was living with her she was hovering around like some kind of pastry paparazzi.

Tonight while visiting, Mum asked me to help her with her Facebook privacy settings. While doing so I discovered that she's been posting pictures of my bakes with me cropped out and claiming them as her own creations. I haven't added her on Facebook so I had no idea that she'd been doing this for literally years!

The captions were always something like, "Freshly baked apple pie, thank Goodness OP can rely on me to bake for her!" underneath the posts family and friends usually comment on how great the bakes are and that I was spoilt for being a grown adult who still didn't know how to cook.

After going through all of the posts I noticed there was a theme, she depicts me as a pathetic, lonely loser, incapable of looking after myself. Most of her family live overseas and have no idea that she's lying. While her friends don't know me well enough to question it.

So WITBA if I logged into my Mum's Facebook and changed all the captions to be more honest? I hate confrontation but I don't know what to do.

TL;DR my mom posts pictures of food I've made with captions that credit her as making them and me as a sad loser that can't cook. WIBTA if I changed the captions to include the truth?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

Tombul-Kus said:

What she did is very wrong but YWBTA if you login her account and change things. You have to confront her. You can ask her to take them down and apologize publicly or you’ll cut her off.

JaquieF said:

Stop baking. See what she does when people ask what she's baking next

Tombul-Kus said:

I just had this idea; what the mother did is super shitty but perhaps deep down she felt useless, she felt exactly as she portrayed OP to be online and that’s why she did that? Like she felt guilty she is not the one cooking the nice stuff for OP? Just another angle. Or perhaps she is just very shitty LOL.

little-angelf@ck said:

NTA. I’m not a fan of public humiliation, but what your mother is doing is in the public so she has it coming. I would also include progress posts for further ‘proof’ or something like that, but I’m just a paranoid f@ck.

OP responded:

Genius! I always take progress shots (because I have the memory of a fish) so I can definitely go back through my photo reel to prove I made them.

asmallman said:

NTA. But I would talk to her first. If she refuses. Go with the nuclear option and post the original photo EVERY time she posts a cropped photo.

Teacherofnothing said:

ESH if you do log into her account and make your own changes. At this point, you're living with her, so maybe when closer to leaving, you should call her out on it. In the mean time, try to back when you know she can't see what you're doing, and if you really want to piss her off, start adding her family to your fb to show off your baking skills...

OP responded:

That's a really good point, I hadn't thought of adding her family. I always take progress pictures so it wouldn't be hard to make an album of 'bakes'.

And [deleted] said:

Impersonating your mom is just not a great idea for various reasons and you would be the AH. Much better would be if you confront her privately and demand an apology (because she most definitely owes you one) and for her to take those posts down.

I get a feeling she won't do that, so if you want to be petty (and make an "everybody sucks" situation out of it), you could post the original pictures (maybe even screenshots of your chat convos where you send it to her) in every comment section, tagging the other people who liked and commented.

OP responded:

That's a fair point. I could at least ask her to tag me in the picture.

She later shared this update:

It's been almost 24hrs, and I just want to thank everyone who has responded. You're all totally right – my initial approach was immature and lazy. I was taking the easy way out and not facing having the awkward and frankly, painful conversation required. I spent some time today practicing what I want to say so that I don't freeze up like I usually do.

I've also told my Dad about the posts (he doesn't have Facebook). He was shocked but not surprised. He said that she's previously posted fake holiday photos and once claimed she had rescued a puppy. She thinks it's funny and that they're just white lies. He found out when he ran into people who asked him about them which led to a lot of confusion and embarrassment for him.

He's asked me to come over tomorrow. He's going to help keep things calm so that I can talk to her (when she gets upset, she starts shouting which usually ends the conversation because I freeze up).

I've had time to cool down and while I'm still really hurt I mainly just feel overwhelmingly sad for her. I think our chat might turn into a bigger mental health discussion because as many people have pointed out, she must be deeply unhappy with parts of her life if she has to pretend to be this apple-pie-baking-puppy-saving-luxury-holiday-taking person.

Regardless of how the chat goes, I know I need some time away from her to process things. As suggested, I've added a few members of my Mum's family on Facebook where I've uploaded pictures and progress shots of my baking. I exchanged messages with my Aunt (Mum's cousin) this afternoon that I haven't seen since I was a kid and arranged to video chat with her and her family this weekend.

She mentioned that she loves cooking and sent me a family recipe that I plan to record (eek!) and share with just my family. I'll probably babble all the way through it and look stupid, but I'm excited to find a positive way to clear my name.

I've gotten so many great ideas from everyone here, and I'm very grateful to you all that I didn't go through with my terrible original idea. I honestly can't thank you folks enough for your advice.