'AITA for putting up a camera during my neighbor’s pool build and then overhearing him say he hates us?'
"AITA for putting up a camera during my neighbor’s pool build and then overhearing him say he hates us?"
I am baffled by a recent encounter with my neighbor - primarily what I overheard. I live in the US suburbs and it’s summer. I replaced my AC system in March, which was a significant investment for us. Our new (6 months) neighbors in May they informed us they were putting in a pool. This was our first encounter with them.
The pool company asked to use the path between our houses and gave us a poorly written liability waiver with inconsistent references. I saw that as opportunity to be a good neighbor and reworded it to be more clear and sent it back, which they appreciated. A few days later, the neighbor wife asked to meet in person to discuss the timeline and concerns.
My wife mentioned our new AC unit and asked that machnery avoid the condenser. We also requested their work vehicles not park in front of our house, since we have regular services that need access. I have an old Google camera that I to use for a video feed of the AC unit in case anything happened.
I put in a window in a conspicuous location so everyone knew it was there. Over the summer, nothing happened and we had no contact. Last week my wife asked about repairs to our grass and sprinklers. The neighbor’s wife said the project was delayed but should finish in a few weeks, all were polite messages.
This brings us to our most recent encounter a day ago. Around 5pm a work vehicle with a trailer arrives and parks directly in front of our driveway. The workers open the trailer and start doing their work. The truck is labeled for a specific service and another crew had been onsite recently to perform the same service.
I was mildly curious as I didn’t think it was the same company. As my wife and I head out to take our evening walk with our dog, my wife asks how long they will be there and they respond they are about to leave. The interaction was no more than 5 seconds. As we arrive home, they are leaving and neighbor is heading inside his house.
We have a driveway camera. I was curious if I could listen to their conversation and hear why another company was here. Yes, it’s me being nosy. What I hear is not that, it’s my neighbor complaining about us to these workers. He talks bad about us - mentions the camera. I can tell that they discussed the parking situation.
He says he does not like us repeatedly. I can clearly hear him say - “Man, I do not like these new neighbors - both of em!” We debated this a bit. I don’t know what he means by that - we came to a conclusion that he means us and his other neighbors.
I’m taken aback. We’ve barely spoken. My wife has had maybe 5 back and forth texts and one in person conversation. We’ve never spoken to him personally. My daughter says she has talked to him once - a passing hello.
I’m honestly not sure what I should do here. As I see it, we’ve done nothing to him - there’s never been a personal interaction. So I’m here to ask a bunch of internet folks - AITA? What should I do here? My wife is considering confronting the neighbor wife.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Separate-Debate3839 said:
They shouldn’t block your driveway (although it sounds like a temporary unloading), but “don’t park in front of my house” is an asshole position. Watching your AC unit like it’s a sentient being or the Crown Jewels is weird.
I’m nosy too, but you crossed the line. I don’t think you and your wife are as polite as you think you are (or helpful with rewriting the waiver). YTA.
Wild-Association1680 said:
YTA. You videotaped your neighbor's conversation, listened to it, and are wondering why they don't like you? I'm guessing whatever vibes made you want to do that are also vibing loud and clear through your limited and interactions with your neighbor.
Inner-Nothing7779 said:
NTA for putting the camera up. But don't come here and complain like a child when you spy on people and don't like what they have to say. If you were my neighbor I wouldn't like you either. You're one of "those" neighbors.
If your wife confronts the neighbor wife, you will cement yourself as the asshole neighbor and you will be disliked for as long as you live there. Do nothing, stop spying, move on with life.
SorryCity8809 said:
It's too far to say YTA but good god. Unclench. It sounds exhausting to deal with you.
pottersquash said:
YTA. You should try to be a less nosey, less annoying person. C'mon, you think your the good person when your stated intention was to eavesdrop on a private convo?
TicoTicoNoFuba said:
YTA - Your actions confirm what you are telling us - you are a nosy neighbor. That is okay if you are looking for people up to no good. For your neighbors, it is incredibly intrusive. Mind your own business.