'AITA for putting a lock on my bedroom door?' 'I share the apartment with my husband and his sibling.'
"AITA for putting a lock on my bedroom door in the apartment I share with my husband and his family member?"
My husband and I live with his sibling, “G,” in an apartment that’s paid for by his family. G frequently brings friends over, and one of them, “L,” is a frequent guest who practically lives with us at this point. I tend to avoid the common areas because I get anxious and uncomfortable around so many people, but I don’t really mind keeping to myself.
I have a vanity room where I keep my clothes and jewelry, and I installed a small camera there for peace of mind, as no one locks the apartment door, day or night, and I wanted to protect my valuables. Later, I decided to put a lock on the vanity room door as an extra security measure.
Recently, while my husband and I weren’t home, G allowed their friend L to enter our personal space without permission, supposedly to charge a device. This was especially unsettling because my husband and I have private, personal items in our bedroom, and it felt like a serious invasion of our privacy.
I feel that G was also at fault here for allowing a frequent guest to enter such a personal space, especially since it’s our private room as a couple. After that incident, my husband and I decided to put a lock on our bedroom door for additional privacy. I even explained to L beforehand that it was for privacy and safety, given the constant traffic in our apartment.
Everything seemed fine until G texted my husband, angrily accusing us of being “paranoid” and saying locks and cameras aren’t necessary because they were “raised with trust” as a family.
Since then, G has been distant, and I’ve been avoiding G and L, as I feel like they’re both upset with me. I tried to reconcile with G, but they were dismissive and rude, leaving me feeling like I was back in school dealing with bullies.
It’s especially hurtful because I had opened up to both G and L about some personal struggles, thinking they would understand why I’d want some extra privacy. Now, I feel like I’m an outsider in my own home. AITA for putting a lock on my bedroom door and wanting more privacy?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
KrofftSurvivor said:
NTA. Anyone offended by you preventing their guests from accessing your personal space does not have good intentions.
Aggravating-Pie-1639 said:
NTA, but it’s kind of ridiculous that L is in your apartment so much that you have to explain to them about why you’re locking your bedroom door. That’s a little weird and maybe hubby needs to have a conversation with G about their attitude and boundaries and L’s presence in your space. Maybe he should get whoever’s name is on the lease involved, would that person be supportive of your privacy?
Square-Minimum-6042 said:
NTA. Family might be trustworthy but his friends are not your family. The fact that he objects should tell you how necessary it is to protect your privacy.
Ok-Position7403 said:
NTA. If they had no interest in going into your room. they wouldn't give a damn about the lock. Can you move?
6ft9man said:
"How would you know about the cameras or locks if you weren't trying to get into spaces that you're not supposed to be in?" NTA.
FairyCompetent said:
NTA. The only people who would complain about safety measures for your comfort are people who are being inconvenienced by them- so, people who want to bypass them and access your personal space without your knowledge or permission.
shadyzeta579 said:
NTA. If you need to enter someone else’s personal space to charge a device, you need to rethink the electronic situation in your home. Every other outlet in the entire apartment was in use? That’s nuts. I trust everyone in my home and don’t use locks on my personal space…but I do lock the doors to the house.
Why? It’s not the people inside the house that I’m concerned about, it’s the possibility of people outside of the home coming in. It’s not unreasonable to want even the smallest amount of safety and privacy in your home.