'AITA for putting my dad’s GF on blast in front of everyone at my cousin's engagement party?'
"AITA for putting my dad’s girlfriend on blast at my cousins engagement party?"
There’s a lot of background here that is relevant. My sister (26) and I (29) M do not really like our dad. We don’t really talk to his family much since the divorce outside of this one cousin or two that are really nice. Our cousin had their engagement party on Saturday.
Here’s what happened. Basically, dad (59) was cheating on our mom with an employee of his. Dad runs a company, and “Carla” (33) had been his employee for 3 or 4 years. We found out about the affair because my dad is stupid. My dad didn’t want coworkers and employees finding out.
He told Carla that if she quits, he will pay her out the rest of her yearly salary in a lump sum and help her get a job with a partner company. Mom found out because the bank contacted her as a trusted contact person because they couldn’t get a hold of dad.
They thought it was suspicious that there was a withdrawal or close to 80K. That’s what dad took out to give to Carla. Long story short the divorce imploded and dad moved on. Yeah, the age gap is weird too. Like I could have conceivably been in high school with Carla.
This may not be relevant but his side of the family was sympathetic to my sister and I for like maybe 2 weeks. Then they just started acting like Carla was part of the family. Like aunts and uncles, grandparents, are just tagging Carla on stuff on Facebook with my dad. My 2 aunts just posted a picture with them and Carla.
At the party, me and my sister weren’t really talking with dad. Then at dinner people were telling stories about the newly engaged couple. My dad spoke about how happy everyone is to add another great woman into the family. He looked at Carla and said she’s an example of the last great woman added.
I spoke up, loudly, and said “yeah, we need more great women who sleep with their married boss, while they themselves live with a boyfriend”. The place went silent and Carla just put her head down. My dad yelled in front of everyone calling me disgusting.
My sister and I said we were leaving. My cousin getting married told me he thought it was kinda funny and so did his fiancé. My dad’s 2 sisters cornered us as we left and said we owe Carla, and dad, and the wedding couple an apology. My dad’s dad said we were acting like children.
My dad texted and said we will be cut out of any inheritance if we do not call Carla and apologize. I want the money, but I also think Carla is a b!tch and my dad is an @$$h@le. AITA?
What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:
twinklepiinkle said:
NTA. Your dad blew up his marriage, humiliated your mom, and then paraded his affair partner around as though she’s some shining example of family. You’re not obligated to play along with that narrative just to keep the peace.
Could your delivery have been more subtle? Sure. But honestly, your dad set himself up for this by trying to present Carla as some role model when everyone knows the truth. He’s mad because you said out loud what everyone else was thinking.
As for the inheritance threat, that’s just another way for him to control you. If money is the only leverage he has left, that tells you everything you need to know about the kind of person he is.
OP responded:
It’s infuriating because everyone does know the truth. But they still praise Carla. The women on my dads side basically fully integrated her into the circle already.
Anarchyr said:
Never respect cheaters, never give them another chance.
NTA, stand your ground!
sunshinesprouty said:
Honestly, you called it like it was. Props for not sugarcoating, even if everyone else thinks you’re “acting like children.” Some truths are worth the awkward silence.
OP responded:
I think what bothers me most is how quick his entire family just started acting like Carla was his wife
Reislinsia said:
You dropped a truth bomb in a room where everyone was pretending like nothing shady ever happened. Was it messy? Yep. But your dad cheated, paid off his employee, blew up your family, and now parades her around like a prize, you're not obligated to play along.
The fact they all demand you apologize says more about their denial than your outburst. If the inheritance matters, that's a separate, cold calculation, but morally? You just said out loud what everyone already knows
OP responded:
Like I said we don’t like a lot of his family. I know his parents never really liked our mom. They’re a very old school family. My grandparents used to say my mom didn’t “listen” to dad enough. Grandpa has quoted the whole wife obey the husband bullsh!t before. They never liked that mom worked. They wanted her at home as a homemaker.
boboddy42069 said:
NTA. I feel really bad. What the heck is up with his family
OP responded:
It’s a very sexist family. Holidays growing up was always women expected to clean, set up for parties, while the men get to sit around the yard and have beers and cocktails.
Mean_Muffin161 said:
Apologize, don’t mean it and get that money.
And OP responded:
My sister is saying this haha
We'll keep you posted on any future updates!