'AITA for reading a book my husband doesn't want me to read?' 'We're on the brink of divorce.'
"AITA for reading a book my husband doesn't want me to read?"
Yeah the title is real. I'm in a book club. We are all suburban white women. Most are more liberal than me and wildly more so than my husband. Background is we are on the brink of divorce. Trying to claw our way back so we can be 1 loving home for our children - but we have big differences.
So we are having major issues. And he brought up a book he found on the counter the other day that I brought home from the library. It's in fact the book of the month from my book club lent to me by my friend bc the wait was long for it and I didn't want to waste an audible credit.
I DID NOT CHOOSE THE BOOK THIS MONTH I DON'T HAVE ANY KNOWLEDGE ABOUT IT BECAUSE I WAS NOT EVEN AT LAST MONTH'S MEETING DUE TO ONE OUR KIDS' BIRTHDAYS BEING ON THAT DAY. I have not even started it. He said how he read the back and it is about a wife cheating on her husband then she and her husband end up in all of this murder mystery sh$%.
He told me how if I valued us I wouldn't read it because reading a book about a woman cheating on her husband during this time when we are breaking down is a bad idea. It puts bad things into the brain, dreams, universe, etc etc that my friends must have husbands who cheat on them and they have had marriages and we are trying to fix ours so why would I essentially bring that negative stuff into my life.
Yall I basically shut down. Of all my friends (BESIDES THE ONE WHO RECENTLY GOT DIVORCED) we have THE WORST marriage. But I have never and would never cheat. If I got to that point that I was seriously considering it I would know it was done.
I cannot stress enough that it has never been an issue in our marriage. I think I should tell him he should stop watching UFC fights because in the marriage environment we are in it's for the best. Because you never know, his emotional abuse could spill over to physical if he watches too much.
Having him police fiction novels I read for book club is insane to me. So I'm going to return the book to the library as a front and still waste an audible credit on it and listen to the audiobook anyways. AITA if I go ahead and do it anyways? I mean, I downloaded it already. Just gonna hide the listening.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
MuttFett said:
I want to know when the dead prostitute makes an appearance in your real lives...NTA.
alv269 said:
NTA. If he does not even have a minimum level of trust such that you can' read a fictional book without him thinking you will act out the topic, the marriage is already over. I would absolutely laugh my husband out of the room if he made such a claim.
DeepValleyDrive said:
NTA - Divorce this dude. If your marriage is terrible and you're "staying together for the kids," it quite literally never serves the kids because it models a loveless household filled with conflict rather than healthy adult relationships. Clearly, this guy is not an emotionally stable adult and tbh, it almost feels like he's projecting his fear of infidelity because he either has cheated or considers it a possibility.
Ctrl-Alt-Q said:
NTA. Remember when "Game of Thrones" was popular and everyone was defenestrating kids and committing incest? Me neither. If you have to sneak around to do normal things like reading a book, the battle for a healthy marriage is already lost.
phyrsis said:
Keep the book. Ditch the man. NTA.
Unable-Letter9582 said:
I’d say NTA. Sounds like he’s projecting when it’s just a book.
kirinspeaks said:
NTA. He's trying to control what you read, what else does he try and control about you? Read the book, and dump the husband.