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Redhead asks if she was 'dramatic' to report her boss to HR over a nickname.

Redhead asks if she was 'dramatic' to report her boss to HR over a nickname.


What is the right move when you discover that your boss has a secret nickname for you based on an animated sex symbol?

Run, quit, complain to Twitter and get him canceled forever--it's hard to say. So, when a conflicted woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her creepy boss, people were quick to help deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for reporting my boss, over a nickname?

I'm 31 yo, female, and recently started a new job. (Well, a few months ago). It's a 5 guys office, plus the boss. The boss is one of those guys who think has a natural charm that ladies would instantly fall for, but he looks like a thumb, and has a lot of dumb confidence for making inappropriate comments, even when talking to me about work issues.

I keep him at arms length, and I'm very professional with my workmates. Some days ago i was chasing after some workmate, because was procrastinating sending me a document.

I went to him to make him send it, and he said 'Ok.' Took his phone, opened the messages' app, and sent me the file, but looking at it, I noticed that he saved my number as 'Jessica Rabbit'.

I asked him about it, confused, and looked at me, shocked, eyes wide opened. Just said 'I'm sorry.' I didn't let him go, and interrogating him until he confessed that the boss always calls me 'Jessica Rabbit.'

To be clear, I'm naturally a red head, got it from mom, and dye my hair red when it gets darker, but I don't look like 'Jessica Rabbit' I'm flat as a table, yes, I had trust issues about it, and worked very hard to like my body. I despise the thought of being compared to a hyper sexualized cartoon character.

I talked to my boss when he came into the office, and asked about the nickname. He just said 'Because you both are sexy redheads.' I told him to stop it, because I don't feel safe, he just said 'why are you so angry? It's a compliment' I said it's not and stormed out.

I went to HR to do a formal complaint, the HR lady said that she'll process the complaint, but that it was worthless, because 'Boss is just like that.' I told her that I don't like my boss' attitude, and need a warrant to stop.

Since then, my boss stopped talking to me, and my workmates say that I'm way too dramatic, and dont know how to take a compliment, they also complained that don't feel safe around me, because they dont know if I will twist their words somehow. Am I TA here?

Later, she edited the post to include:

EDIT: To be clear, I did not snoop on the phone, I was standing, and my coworker has sitting in his chair, so I had a clear view of his phone, and then I saw that he saved my number as 'Jessica Rabbit'.

This boss' behavior is completely inappropriate and the entire workplace seems like a textbook toxic situation that this woman should run for the hills from before it gets worse...

This boss sounds like the guy who goes to a restaurant and asks the waitress if she's on the menu while telling her to smile and laughing hysterically at his own joke. It's smart that she complained to HR, but considering the company's response it's probably best that she finds another job.

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this situation:

0eozoe0 said:

Wow, NTA at all. This is sexual harassment. The nickname is inappropriate and calling you a “sexy redhead” is inappropriate. HR is not doing their job. This company needs to be reported if HR tolerates this kind of behavior from their management.

MySuperLove said:

NTA. F*ck those victim blamers and enablers. This is literally illegal.

wordsmythy said:

NTA. But I just want to tell you that I spit out my coffee when I read 'and he looks like a thumb.' OMG

lotus_eater123 said:

Talk to HR again and tell them that a lawyer has advised you that if they don't do their job, that they can be sued and they will lose. NTA.

rhomboidus said:

NTA. You did everything right here. Start keeping records of hostile interactions at work, and especially complaints you made to HR. Because if it keeps up you're going to need a lawyer and they're going to learn what 'Sexual Harassment' and 'Hostile Work Environment' mean.

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this woman isn't being dramatic at all and she should in fact push further as this behavior is a pretty classic case of sexual harassment. Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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