So, I (34M) live in a suburban neighborhood with a decent-sized backyard and a pool. I’ve always been friendly with my neighbors, including “Karen” (mid-40s F) who moved in next door about a year ago. She seemed nice at first, but as time went on, she started to show her true colors.
Over the summer, Karen started coming over with her kids, asking if they could use the pool. At first, I didn’t mind because I was usually outside anyway, and the kids seemed to enjoy it. But soon, things got weird. Karen began showing up unannounced, sometimes even when I wasn’t home, and I caught her using the pool without my permission.
One day, I came home to find Karen and several of her friends having a full-on pool party in my backyard, complete with snacks, music, and pool floats! I confronted her, and she acted like it was no big deal, saying, “Oh, you weren’t using it, so I figured it was fine.”
I told her politely but firmly that she needed to ask before coming over and that I wasn’t comfortable with her just assuming she could use the pool whenever. Karen seemed annoyed but agreed to “follow the rules.”
Then, last week, she took things to a whole new level. Karen knocked on my door with a typed-up list of “pool rules” that she wanted me to follow! Her list included things like:
• No swimming after 5 PM because “her kids have a strict bedtime.”
• No “loud music” when her family is outside.
• Mandatory weekend access for her and her kids, but only for their exclusive use.
I thought she was joking at first, but she was dead serious. I laughed and told her there was no way I was following any of her “rules” for my pool. Karen got angry and called me selfish, saying that I was “ruining the neighborhood spirit” and being “unfair to the kids.”
Now, she’s been spreading rumors to other neighbors that I’m a bad guy for not sharing the pool. Some of the neighbors have even said I should “just let it go” to avoid drama. But I feel like this is insane — it’s my pool, and she’s acting like she owns it!
AITA for refusing to let Karen and her kids use my pool after she demanded I follow her ridiculous rules?
I can't tell if this is real because what you're describing seems too egregious to be believable (especially the part about the neighbors saying you should have let it go). If it is real, then NTA, your pool, your rules. You're not an access for wanting to be in charge of your own property.
Accurate-Outside-962 OP responded:
I totally get why it sounds crazy, but yeah, it’s actually been that wild. Some of the neighbors just want to avoid drama, even when it’s totally ridiculous. I really appreciate you saying I’m not in the wrong here—it’s been super frustrating trying to set boundaries with her.
I think you need to consult a lawyer. She needs a letter outlining what your legal rights to your pool are and bluntly stating that she has no legal rights to your pool.
I'd even put cameras and signs around the pool and fence bc that karen is insane. You are def NTA, she is a freak.
NTA. 3 words: Cameras. Fence. Locks.
I'm assuming you probably have the second, but if you don't, get one. Even if it's just one that surrounds the pool for liability reasons.
The neighbours are getting Karen's version. I guarantee they're hearing, "He won't let us use his pool! I have no idea why!". And not the full story. I am no longer surprised with how entitled some people can be.
NTA. Karen is insane. Inform her in writing that she and her family are no longer welcome on your property, and if they show up again you will call the authorities. People like her never back down, so you can't either. If you do, you'll never know a moment's peace. Good luck. NTA.
you need to do this OP. Not only because what Karen is doing is bizarre beyond belief, but on the chance this post is real - you need this to absolve you of responsibility is anything were to happen to this woman and her friends / family while they are using your pool.
Right? The more access you continue to allow Karen to use, the more likely she'll try and claim your pools either her's or for public use. Honestly, Karen's access should have been stopped the second OP found her in the yard without permission. I doubt OP's insurance covers Karen breaking and entering to use the pool.
Just to let everyone know, my backyard fence doesn't have a lock. I've taken your advice and purchased one from the store, and I'll be installing it tomorrow. For those suggesting I get a camera, I already have one.. But it’s not pointing directly at the pool more to the fence entrance