'AITA for refusing to babysit my sister's kids because she doesn’t pay me or thank me?'
"AITA for refusing to babysit my sister's kids because she doesn’t pay me or thank me?"
I (31M) have been helping my sister (34F) with babysitting her two kids (6F and 3M) for the past two years. It started during a few years back when she and her husband needed help balancing work-from-home and childcare, and I was happy to step in. I didn’t expect any payment at first because, well, family.
But now things are back to normal. She’s back at work full-time, and I’m also busy with my job and personal life. Despite this, she’s still asking me to babysit at least once a week, sometimes more. The issue is, she never offers to pay me or even says a simple “thank you.” It’s just expected that I’ll do it.
Last week, I finally told her I can’t keep doing this for free, and if she wants me to babysit, she either needs to pay me or at least express some gratitude. She got really upset, saying I was being selfish and that family should help each other out without expecting anything in return.
I get that family helps family, but I feel taken advantage of. I’m not asking for much, just a token of appreciation or even an occasional break. Now she’s not speaking to me, and our parents are saying I should apologize to keep the peace.
AITA for setting boundaries with my sister and telling her I won’t babysit unless she acknowledges my effort? Thanks in advance to everyone who comments, I appreciate the help/advice.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
You're NTA.
"She got really upset, saying I was being selfish and that family should help each other out without expecting anything in return."
As long as she is the one on the receiving end, right?
"I’m not asking for much, just a token of appreciation or even an occasional break."
Sounds reasonable
"Now she’s not speaking to me."
Good, not she can't ask you to baby-sit
"our parents are saying I should apologize to keep the peace."
Nope. That's the motto of all bully enablers.
MacJones4TheWin OP responded:
It's really tough because our parents have taken her side. That's what threw me off, and led me to posting here.
If you're not babysitting, she's likely asking them to babysit. So they have incentive to guilt you into babysitting. That's just my guess though.
NTA. Family does help EACH OTHER out. What do you get from this arrangement? Gratitude would go a long way. Expectations do not last long.
Don't you dare apologize to keep the peace. Your feelings are valid. Parents should stay neutral, or offer to babysit in your place. Your sister is acting very entitled and looks like she is the golden child.