'AITA for refusing to give my brother $200k after he got scammed?' UPDATED 2X
"AITA for refusing to give my brother $200k after he got scammed?"
I (34M) recently inherited $400k from our parents’ estate after they passed away. There was a slight delay in my part in receiving the said amount because of some legal complications. My younger brother (31M) received the same amount, but just months after their death, he was swindled out of nearly all his life savings by a shady investment scheme.
Now, he's asking me to share $200k of my inheritance with him to help him get back on his feet. He argues that our parents would have wanted us to have equal financial standing, and that losing his money wasn't his fault (yeah right) and that he'd pay me back all later.
I feel terrible for him, but I don't think it's fair to give up half of my inheritance for a mistake he made, no matter how unfortunate. I’ve been working hard, budgeting, and planning to use this money for my family’s future. If I give him half, it puts my own financial security at risk.
My wife supports my decision, but some relatives think I'm being greedy and heartless, saying family comes first. AITAH?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
NTA. Your parents did put you in equal financial standing.
Brother doesn't get extra bonus points for stupidity in life. It's best he learn that now.
Tell the relatives who called you greedy and heartless that you'll let your brother know that they'll be giving him money to get back on his feet. NTA, his bad decisions, his problem.
Key_Estate_6764 OP responded:
I just did that, thank you so much for the idea 😂
Your relatives are right, family does come first. As in, your brother shouldn’t be driving a wedge between you two over money and should accept the mistake he made.
After reading the comments OP came back with this update:
Edit: Wow this blew up. I didn't think I'd need online strangers to knock sense into me. Also, it's funny how quickly someone can go from calling every hour to a direct block.
I called my brother, and asked him what EXACTLY happened, and told him I'd only give him the money if he told me the truth, and only the truth. He told me he invested in a company called Aramco (obviously not the real one) to a sheikh, and paid his deposit of 10000 the first time, where he got back 20000.
Then he began scaling up, and always got doubled. Until 100k. He got back 110k, then was emboldened and invested 300k, and was guaranteed 600k, and the rest is history. He made a police report, but had no evidence to share, as he withdrew in cash and dealt in cash itself, taking only token receipts, which were fake. He kept the previously gotten amount in cash in his house.
I only came to know how stupid someone can get. I told him his lack of basic common sense and greed does not constitute grounds for charity on my part, and told him to take better care of the remaining 100k. He cussed me out and told me I disappointed my parents.
As for my relatives, I told them all in the group chat that I'd only match whatever they would pay to my brother, and even offered to double it, since I was so greedy and I wanted to prove them wrong (thanks to a legendary commenter who suggested that, I love you) I was cussed out there too lol. They're all blocked now. They told me the money got into my head.
Sorry for not replying to the comments. I was really weakening in my resolve not to pay him, and you guys just snapped me back. Thank you. You all saved me.
Here's what people had to say after the update:
NTA, I was already on the side of nta before the edit but jeez, he’s just trying to scam you. He wants 200k when he already has 100k+ left in the bank? If you sent the money you would have 200k and he would have 300k+ how is that “equal financial standing” what an AH.
Key_Estate_6764 OP responded:
I was very close to helping him out and being an AH myself, all thanks to this sub 🙏🏻
Tell everyone you lost the $400k on the horses. Wasn't your fault, you were told it was a sure thing. Your brother should share 50% of his remaining $100k so you have equal financial standing.
omg u/key_estate_6764 they have a whole documentary on this guy!!!! go look it up on hulu it’s called “the con” and look for his specific episode. he swindled many millionaires and billionaires out of money claiming he was a sheik from the middle east and saudi royalty. claiming he had stake in saudi aramco. and i hardly think 400k is enough to “go to someone’s head.” PS- NTA.
Key_Estate_6764 OP responded:
What really?
Time to question if your bro really lost money or if he just watched said episode on Hulu and tries to cash some extra bucks from you.
OP came back the next day with a new update:
He called again.
So, after blocking my brother and pesky relatives and thinking the drama was over, he found another way to get to me—he called through my wife.
Turns out, things are even worse than he originally told me. That $100k he had left? It’s all going toward paying off loans and a car he financed, so he’s basically left with nothing. He finally admitted how desperate he is, apologized for not being fully honest earlier, and being a douche and cussing me out. He said he realizes he messed up big time.
Greed got the better of him, and now he’s asking for $50k instead of the $200k, promising to pay me back eventually. He even said he’d appreciate whatever help I could offer if I couldn’t give the full amount. Yes, I asked him about the previous increments he received. Turns out he actually 'invested' $350k. The desperation in his voice was palpable.
But honestly, I’m done with him. He wasn’t always this reckless or stupid (maybe I was wrong), but the guy I’m dealing with now is a complete mess, thanks to you all who made me see that. His greed and lack of financial knowledge are his own doing, and I’m not about to bail him out.
Lastly, thank you to all of you who took time to help me realise the massive blunder I was about to commit. You guys saved my finances and quite possibly my life. I'm grateful to all of you.
Here's what people had to say after the latest update:
Wow! Why am I feeling you're still not getting the truth from this guy. This has major gambling debt vibes to me.
Is there really much of a difference between a risky/shady investment and gambling?
Any money you give him, you will never, ever get back. So I'm glad you're backing away from him.