'AITA for lying so my girlfriend wouldn't have to go to her half-brother's wedding?'

"AITA for taking the blame for my girlfriend refusing to go to her half-brother's wedding?"

Imbodiuu writes:

My girlfriend (19f) of three years and I (19m) live together. She doesn't have the easiest relationship with her family. She says she knows her parents love her, but her half-brother (29m) doesn't care for her, and her parents like to ignore the rejection and force them together.

It's something she actually goes to therapy for because she feels really uncomfortable around him due to how cold and cruel he can be to her. She told me before that her mom can't accept one of her kids acting that way, and her dad can't accept being hated by a kid he's raised since the age of four.

A few months ago, my girlfriend's parents were invited to her half-brother's wedding, but my girlfriend wasn't. She was upset for a while. It wasn't unexpected, but it confirmed for her that there was no chance he would ever change his mind.

They are both independent from their mom and her dad now, and he still wanted her excluded. Her parents asked her about the invite. When she said she hadn't received one, her mom got on her half-brother's case about not including her. He said he didn't want her there and that he didn't want her dad there either, but he wanted his mom present, so he was willing to tolerate my girlfriend’s dad.

It took over three months to get him to agree to let her come. Their mom eventually got her way, but my girlfriend didn’t want to go, and then her parents started insisting that she had to. When I saw that it was getting to be too much for her, I told them I had made plans for us that day and we couldn't make it.

I also told them I didn’t want her to go since I wasn’t invited. It was a lie, but I wanted to take the pressure off her, and they believed it. They're pissed at me, which is fine. My girlfriend told me she hated that I felt I had to lie, but I told her I don’t mind, and I really don’t. She’s still working on everything in therapy, and I know this stuff doesn’t get resolved overnight.

Her half-brother’s reaction to the news was, “Thank f&#k,” so we know he’s not upset, and that only made her parents even more mad. They told me I should understand that the relationship will never improve if I keep her from big moments like this, and they asked why he would come to our wedding if she didn’t go to his.

I think it’s wild to believe he’d even accept the invitation if we sent one, which we wouldn’t. They still don’t know I took the blame with a lie, and I think they’d be even more upset if they found out. AITA?

OP responded to some comments.

FitzDesign says:

NTA. Good for you for keeping her away from what would have been an uncomfortable day.

OP responded:

Thank you. I hate seeing her so hurt whenever she sees her half brother and her parents don't help things, especially their mom.

maybs32 says:

Your girlfriend got the jackpot boyfriend. Kudos to you for having her back.

OP responded:

Thank you. I'll always have her back. And I know she has mine.

What do you think?