'AITA for refusing to apologize for texting my dad and his affair partner's bosses?'

"AITA for refusing to apologize for texting my dad and his affair partner's bosses?"

I (20M) saw my dad and his wife, aka the woman who helped break up my parents marriage, for the first time in a few years the other weekend. This all comes back to something that happened 8 years ago.

I was 12. I knew my dad had cheated on mom. They were divorcing at the time and I was at dad's house. He was already living with his affair partner and they left me in the same room as their phones so I opened up their work contacts and I texted their bosses about the affair saying a lot of not so great things about them both.

My dad's wife found out about it first and she freaked out. She was screaming and asking wtf I did and called me a little brat. I laughed in her face pretty much and when dad realized he was more calm but asked me why I'd do something like that. I said something like actions have consequences and how he used to tell me that all the time.

It was this big issue for over a year. I refused to apologize for it and so they stopped letting me come over because I used to gloat that there was nobody I wouldn't tell. I saw my dad a couple of times after that but it was easily 4 years since I saw dad last before the other weekend.

It came up during dinner. My dad's wife brought it up and she said I ruined their reputations and they had never recovered from it so I owed them a huge apology. She said I could have cost them everything and what did I expect them to do. I told her she didn't want me to answer that because my opinion of them wasn't very high.

I refused to apologize and she tried to start a fight but I ignored her. My grandparents told her to quiet down but she was sulking and making it all about her and dad. She tried to demand an apology again after an hour and my grandparents asked her and dad to leave. My grandparents said they regretted inviting them.

Most of my aunts and uncles found it funny and one of my uncle's even told me dad and his wife have cheated on each other at least three times which made me so happy. Apparently they're sensitive about it which is why she shut up when I told her she didn't want to know what I'd expect them to do.

But then one of my aunt's was like I should have apologized for the sake of the time and place that was in it. She told me what I did was too much and I should realize that involving myself like that was wrong. I don't regret it and I'm not sorry so no apology I feel is warranted. But for the sake of curiosity AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Defiant_Program_4693 said:

NTA. It was 8 years ago, and you were a child. Now, your Dad's wife is the child. Tell Dad's wife to get over it, and tell your aunt to mind her own business instead.

merishore25 said:

NTA. You were 12. For them to be carrying on about it 8 years later is ridiculous. Besides, they were wrong and hurt your mother. They should be apologizing for that.

Aggravating-Ad-4859 said:

NTA, like you said actions have consequences, good that their Karma is being with each other, never apologize.

Remarkable_Buyer4625 said:

NTA - I love everything about your post. If I were your mom, I’d be so proud that you were my son.

Huge-Shallot5297 said:

NTA. Your aunt is in the minority - as she should be - and I'd ask her why a cheater should be forgiven, and if she has any first-hand knowledge of such a situation. That should shut her up.

Current_Equal7797 said:

NTA. You were twelve. And justifying angry. Any relative badgering you for an apology needs to be reminded that were only twelve. Your dad had no business having you and his mistress over at the same time.

CatPerson88 said:

If you are considering doing something you aren't proud of, know is wrong, or don't want anyone to know, don't do it. NTA