'AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she called my job 'not real work?' UPDATED
"AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she called my job 'not real work?'"
Okay, so this just happened and I’m still kinda salty. I (25F) work full-time from home as a customer support rep for a tech company. It’s not glamorous, but it pays the bills and lets me work in pajamas. Win-win, right?
My older sister (33F) has three kids under the age of 7 and is constantly overwhelmed. Totally understandable. She’s a stay-at-home mom and I genuinely respect how much work that is. We’ve always helped each other out or, well, I’ve helped her out.
She texted me last week like, “Can you come watch the kids this Saturday for a few hours? I need a break.” I was like, “Hey, I’m slammed with work this week and I need the weekend to catch up on errands and decompress. Can we maybe do another time?” And she hits me with: “Must be nice having a fake job and no real responsibilities.” EXCUSE ME?
I called her out and said, “Just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean I don’t work hard. My job is real. My life is real. And I'm not your backup nanny.”
She flipped it on me and said I’m being selfish and “don’t understand what it’s like to be a real adult with real stress.” I reminded her that I pay rent, bills, groceries, and my own health insurance, and I do it all while dealing with cranky customers who think I’m secretly controlling their WiFi.
So now my mom’s involved, saying I should “just let it go” and help my sister because “family supports family.” But like… I was willing to help until she insulted my whole existence.
AITA for saying no and setting a boundary?
TL;DR: Sister asked me to babysit, I said no because I’m burned out. She called my job “fake” and said I don’t have real stress. I told her off and now the family’s mad. AITA?
The internet did not hold back one bit.
goblynn wrote:
NTA, and I’m so tired of families using that BS line on the one family member they rely on to pull up the slack, but never returning the favor or showing any appreciation. Tell your sis you’re busy running “fake errands” and paying “fake bills” with the money from your “fake job”. Oh, and anything left over is going towards a “fake vacation” with YOUR spare time.
OP responded:
Omg haha YES. I’m seriously tempted to make “fake vacation” T-shirts at this point. Maybe I’ll send her a postcard from my imaginary beach getaway paid for with Monopoly money. But seriously, thank you. It’s weird how some people act like being child-free = free labor. I love my niece and nephews, but I’m not the family intern.
Wattaday wrote:
Tell your mom she can watch the kids on Saturday to give sis a break. After all, family helps family.
Historical_Story2201 wrote:
It's nice volunteering other people's time, ain't it?
PonyGrl29 wrote:
NTA. You spawn them, you raise them.
OP responded:
Honestlyyyy. I didn’t push ‘em out, I shouldn’t have to clock in as the unpaid babysitter.
FinancialCamel7281 wrote:
Tell her your mother said she will babysit, that it's no problem for, quote her "family helps family." That you don't have the time at all, but she has no problem taking her grandkids anytime.
A day later, OP shared an update.
Hey internet fam, first off, THANK YOU to everyone who validated that I’m not crazy for wanting to not be insulted and still be expected to babysit.
So here’s what happened since the original post:
After the whole “fake job” drama, I went low contact for a few days because I was still annoyed and honestly, I didn’t want to say something I'd regret. My sister kept texting things like “Are you seriously still mad?” and “It was just a joke, you’re so sensitive.” Which...sure, insult me and then call me sensitive, classic move.
Anyway, last weekend rolls around (aka the day she originally wanted me to babysit) and I stayed home in my very real pajamas doing very real work. Around 3pm, my mom texts me a picture of all the kids with the caption:
“So tired, but worth it” …She had to step in and babysit instead of me. I didn’t even know that was the backup plan.
Cue the guilt trip follow-up call: Mom goes, “See what happens when you say no?” I go, “You mean I keep my sanity?” She didn’t laugh.
Then the kicker: My sister called me the next day and said, “I guess you really are serious about your job.” LIKE??? Yeah girl, my WiFi doesn't pay itself and neither does my rent. Just because I don’t leave the house doesn’t mean I’m sitting around doing face masks and watching Netflix all day (okay sometimes, but not when I’m working lol).
She gave me a half-hearted apology, which included the words “I didn’t mean to offend you that much,” so...not exactly growth. Anyway, I told her I’m still happy to help when I can but if she wants a guaranteed sitter, she can hire one. Apparently that made me “cold,” but at this point I’d rather be cold than used.
TL;DR: Sister doubled down, mom guilt-tripped me, and I stood my ground. Still not the unpaid nanny, still working a “fake” job that pays real bills.
The internet was glad to hear the update.
EducatedBlackUnicorn wrote:
Stay LC for the time being. If you jump back in it will be a recurring problem. Side Note: Where is the dad?
Large_Effective_812 wrote:
Good for you but where is the father of these kids? And if my mother said so tired but worth it I would have told her great then you don’t mind doing it again? However my family knows y know after 50 years in this world my mouth will go there and I’m not a doormat.
Aurora_Gory_Alice wrote:
"It's really sh#$ty that you dismissed my job and then roped Mom into trying to guilt trip me too. It surely doesn't make me ever want to be helpful to you in the future, especially when you don't consider me, like at all. I'm glad Mom is willing to step up for you, but do you talk to her like that and still expect favors?" 🤔
Consistent-Safe-971 wrote:
What the hell is wrong with your family for your mom to circle back. Tell your mom she will have to do it again because you won't since your sister doesnt have a real jib to pay you. Why doesn't your sister get a clue and hire a babysitter?