'AITA for refusing to babysit my niece and nephew every weekend?'

"AITA for refusing to babysit my niece and nephew every weekend?"

AITA for refusing to babysit my niece and nephew every weekend? I (31F) have a sister, Sarah (35F), who has two kids, Emily (7) and Jake (5). Here's the situation:

Sarah and her husband love to go out a lot, especially on weekends. They frequently ask me to babysit their kids, which I've been doing almost every weekend for the past year.

At first, I enjoyed it because I love my niece and nephew, but it's become exhausting. I have my own life, hobbies, and sometimes I just want my weekends to relax or catch up on personal projects.

Last weekend, Sarah called me again: Sarah: "Hey, can you take the kids this Friday and Saturday night? We've got a dinner party and then a concert."

Me: "I was actually planning to work on my garden project this weekend. Can't you find someone else or take them with you?"

Sarah: "Come on, it's just one weekend. You know they love spending time with you."

Me: "It's not just one weekend though, Sarah. It's every weekend." She got upset, saying I should be more supportive and that family comes first. She even guilt-tripped me by saying the kids would be disappointed if they couldn't see me.

I stood my ground and said no, suggesting they hire a babysitter for once or adjust their plans. Now, Sarah's not talking to me, and my parents are saying I'm being selfish because I'm the only family close by who can help.

AITA for refusing to babysit my niece and nephew every weekend when I want some personal time?

Let's see what readers thought:

fainelin writes:

Here we go, again. Grab a bag of quarters. Search this sub for the word "selfish". Everytime that you read a post where the demanding party called OP selfish because OP wouldn't do something, put a quarter in a jar. Warning: Do NOT play this as a drinking game.

They are HER kids. She should be grateful for what you've done; you would be wise to question why she isn't.

Let grandparents take them, or pay for them to find a sitter. There's no rule that kids at that age must be cared for family. That's simply a convenient excuse for your family to dump unwarranted guilt on you. You've done nothing wrong, so you shouldn't feel guilt. You teach people how to treat you. Time to send sis back to school. NTA.

reasable writes:

Sarah gets every weekend off because she has you to babysit? You work an entire week and then babysit on the weekends. When is YOUR weekend off? Apparently never.

What I don't understand is why you are here asking if you are the you-know-what. Clearly you are not. You are NTA. But for some reason, you feel some uncertainty about the morality of saying "no" to Sarah? Why?

Because of the social pressure being applied to you by your parents and by Sarah. Likely they have been using these manipulation tactics against you your whole life, to get you to do what they want.

"No, I won't be able to babysit for you this weekend. I am looking at my calendar and I have babysat for you for 9 out of the last 10 weekends. I have not had a weekend to rest in over two months because I have been babysitting for you.

I am truly offended that I have the nerve to tell me I'm selfish for having a weekend to rest, when I've given you the last 9 weekends to rest by doing YOUR childcare for you.

I think it's pointless for me to help you again in the future as you are completely unappreciative of the large amount of help I have given you up to this point and treat me like a servant who owes you help instead of your sister who has given you a huge gift of my time and energy to help you out. You should find another babysitter for the future."

Then the more they complain, the more you double down that every time they are nasty to you or call you selfish, it only reinforces that you are making the right decision to stop babysitting for people who don't appreciate you and can't be polite to you even when you are doing them a favor.

flaow7 writes:

No is a complete sentence..if they have the money to go party and go to concerts they can pay a babysitter. If family comes first maybe they should out their kids first. They're selfish manipulative and you need to grow a spine and say no. If course you're NTA. They chose to have kids.

They're not you're responsibility. Also as a parent yiu don't plans things without actually checking with a babysitter if they'll be available. They're shit for parents tbh. I feel sorry for your niece and nephew but again that's not your problem.

Of course they like to be with yiu because their AH parents obviously don't care ans they feel that. But again that's not your responsibility. If you feel like compromising agree to no more than one weekend a month and stick to it. You're single and are allowed your own life. Even if you don't don't anything all weekend but stay home and watch Netflix. That's your time and you get to do with it what you want