'AITA for refusing to babysit since I was not made a godparent?'

"AITA for refusing to babysit since I was not made a godparent?"

My son married Kelly 7 years ago and I thought we had a good relationship until now. I babysit for them often, every Tuesday and Thursday. I love seeing the kids but it is a lot of work and I have had to make sacrifices that I wouldn’t have to do if I just babysat like once a month.

I started doing this because they were struggling financially and it is much cheaper to do part time daycare than full time daycare. When school started (and they were old enough) I still took them so they could work long we hours on those days.

The oldest kid (Theo) has Kelly’s couple friends as godparents. The middle child godparents are my daughter and her husband. When Kelly was pregnant with the youngest, I brought up to my son that I would loved to be the godmother. He said he would talk it over with his wife.

The youngest was born and I learned over the holidays that Kelly’s parents are going to be the godparents. Her parent visit once a year and I have literally had both of them vent to me about how awful they were.

I asked my son why I was not picked to be a godparent and he told me it was because I am not married. Kelly wants the godparent to be a couple and it shows good moral for the kids.

I was a single mother…I raised my kids by myself and to hear that I wasn’t picked because of that hurts a lot. That I babysit the kids for years over a 100 days a year and I am not godparent material was awful.

I thought it over and decided that I was done babysitting. I will only do emergencies and that it. I informed my son and he was not happy. Kelly is very pissed and claims I am punishing them. My son called me and asked me to reconsider because it will put them back financially to go to full-time at the daycare.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

javel1 said:

NTA and only because they implied that you have bad morals because you were a single parent. Why would they want that influence on their kids?

yellsy said:

Of course they’re being punished. It’s called consequences. They bit the hand that feeds them, what do they expect? NTA because their explanation was super gross given that you raised your son alone and are now helping raise his kids - your morals are good enough to show up but not good enough to be part of their family I guess.

Remarkable_Inchworm said:

Clearly they should get a married couple to babysit. Y'know...to show good morals. NTA. You have every right to be offended.

FiddleStyxxxx said:

NTA because your DIL specifically said you couldn’t be a godparent because it’s better morally for it to be a couple. That’s the sentence that would send me over the edge too. Why would you continue to provide a ton of free childcare to someone who doesn’t see you as a good role model for her kids?

No-Housing-5124 said:

NTA, but let's clarify why you want to stop giving so much of your life to caring for these grandkids. It's not that other godparents were selected, but the reason given to you was deeply hurtful.

I'm Southern and I would have a hard time not telling Kelly to find "morally upstanding" babysitters in the immediate future because I resign. In fact, I think I would do that.

BunniesnBroomsticks said:

NTA. Your morals are good enough to help them raise the children but not for some abstract title that clearly means a lot to you. It would've been a simple kindness to give you the title. Now they're dealing with the consequences of their actions.

Whose_my_daddy said:

NTA. You ARE punishing them, and they deserve it. Actions have consequences.

Well-Done22 said:

NTA. Her moral upstanding parents can babysit for them. Oh, wait…