'AITA for refusing to take the blame if my cheating ex's life is 'ruined'?'
"AITA for refusing to take the blame if my cheating ex's life is 'ruined'?"
I still don't understand how all of this mess is my fault but ok...So I was with my ex (P) for 3 years. To cut it short after her promotion, 8 months ago, she changed a lot. And when I say she changed, I mean that she started to act like I was inferior to her only because she was making a few thousand more than me.
Skip forward to 2 months ago and I found out she was cheating on me with her married boss. Obviously I broke up with her on the spot and informed our friends on the real reason we broke up (her infidelity. I thought that the story ended there because I broke up with her, told our friends why so she couldn't spin the story and that's it.
But unfortunately the story didn't finished there because we all know that people loves drama so voices started going around about P cheating with her boss and apparently voices arrived to P's boss's wife and in fact 5 days after our break up the wife texted me asking me if it was true that P was having an affair with her husband and I told her that it was true. I didn't heard from her anymore.
Again to make it short, P's boss was fired because of the company's policy against intimacy between subordinates and superiors and P wasn't fired but got demoted and her promotion went to another person.
And for some reasons, that I don't understand, when all this mess came out to P, her parents and a few shared friends I'm the bad guy here. When literally I did nothing to cause all of this if not telling my friends about P's infidelity.
So skip forward to now after almost 2 months and I keep being blamed for P's life going to garbage because apparently she had to quit her job since obviously her coworkers weren't that much thrilled with her about the cheating scandal and were basically ignoring her and making the kind of comments you can imagine.
So here I am. AITA here? Because, honestly, all this blame shifting is messing with my head and I can't understand how I'm the bad guy when all I did in any of this is just be honest.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. She chose to sleep with the boss. She cheated on you. She made these decisions all in her own so it's her fault that her life is blowing up. Whoever is blaming you should shut up.
NTA. The people blaming you are her friends and family, they're required to take her side. She could be found tomorrow punching bunnies and they would still blame the bunnies.
Send her and her family one final message, "I'm not the one that cheated. I'm not the one that told her company. She's the one that laid down with her married boss. Karma will look after her. Goodbye." Then block them all.
Shocker. The cheater's family and friends think everyone's the bad guy but her. Block her family and friends. If they are unwilling to see that she played a risky game - one she chose to play - and lost because of her own actions....then that's on them. You did the right thing. Focus on yourself for now. NTA.
NTA. But remember thats their daughter and friend, so they gonna blame you regardless if it was her fault. Clearly her parents are the ones that failed to teach her accountability. So don't imagine they would take blame for their failers either.
Just tell people that you’re glad that your cheating ex has had her comeuppance and that her ex boss has lost his job . Nothing icould make you happier, but if in fact you had wanted revenge you would have gone to her HR department yourself.
You didn’t do that. What you did was prevent a cheat and a liar who got a promotion by screwing her boss from lying about you and when asked a direct question you told the truth.
NTA. Not even for making it clear why you divorced her. The fact that they're trying to spin this even now validates that decision. All of the consequences she's dealing with now are the consequences of her own decisions and actions.
Nope NTA. Their course in life is directly related to their act or actions has a person. Their path is no longer your concern when their actions set them there. Anyone who sides either her just did you a favor, you can move on from them too if they keep pressing it. One event, multiple positives for you!
First of all, her life isn't "ruined". She lost her job. She'll get another one. She still has the support of her friends and family, even though they know what she did. She'll move on. You need to as well. Of course her friends and family are going to think YTA. That shouldn't really matter to you. Just move on and live your own best life.
If they demoted her, it's probably because she didn't deserve the job in the first place. So the company gave it to the person who should have gotten it if she hadn't been on her back for it.
You didn't tell his wife, and even if you had, she's the one who created the situation.. People who think you're the bad guy here should be cut out of your life. She had to quit her job because her colleague should probably knew she didn't deserve it finally got verification about the way she got it.
NTA. Ever hear of the phrase don't shoot the messenger? That's what's going on here. She cheated on you, had a sexual relationship with her boss, and is very angry that you brought down her cascade of lies just by telling the simple truth when asked.
Like most cheaters, she's doing anything possible to deny any responsibility for her actions. Be thankful you got out of there before you married her or had children with her.