AITA for refusing to cater to a relative-in-law’s expense-free vacation?

"AITA for refusing to cater to relative-in-law’s expense-free vacation?"

I am now “the ahole” in my wife's family, but am I…? I feel justified, am I? My opinion: I don’t think anyone should ever invite themselves to stay at someone else’s home. You only stay if you are invited, and then if you stay, you bring gifts and pay for meals etc.

The story: Over the course of our 30 year marriage we have hosted many family members at our house. Recently my wife’s cousin contacted her and said she would like to come out at visit the family. My wife’s mother and sisters live nearby. (The three of them always bully my wife into getting their ways).

My wife and her sisters work, whereas I just retired - so I’m elected to pick the cousin up at the airport. I’ve never met or seen pictures of this person, so I’m told to hold a sign like a chauffeur.

On the way home the cousin said she was starving as asked if we could get something to eat. We stopped at a nearby restaurant and ordered food. I ended up paying the bill and thought it was strange she didn’t offer to help, but ok, maybe she’ll contribute later.

Every following breakfast, lunch, and dinner was paid for by me. Even at the family picnic where everyone was chipping in money, she didn’t contribute a thing. Her entire 4 night stay was free! I never even heard a Thank You. And I drove her to and from the airport and everywhere she wanted to go while she was here.

A few days later this cousin’s sister emailed my wife and said they heard all about her sisters trip and how much fun she had. So now, that cousin, and her other two sisters, want to bring their mother for a surprise visit for my mother-in-law. (that’s 4 more strangers who just invited themselves to my house).

I lost it as said “NO F’ING WAY!, They can stay in a hotel!” If they were close family I would have no problem with this but I have never met them and my wife hasn’t seen them since childhood except for at a reunion 20 years ago. AND, a close cousin told us - that branch of their family is known for being mooches.

My wife feels like she’s caught in the middle. I told her she can tell them that I’m being an asshole and I insist they get a rental car and stay in a hotel. My wife’s sisters live together in a small condo so they cannot host and they don’t see a problem with us hosting since we have a house. They said they would contribute money towards food, but to me it’s more than that.

Four more people I have never met, invited themselves to stay in my house and expect me to chauffeur them wherever they want? NO F’ING WAY! Get a rental car and stay in a hotel!!!! I’m not the host of expense-free vacations…

I lost...the sisters always get their way. So now this is where I’ve become the ahole to my wife’s family….I’m taking the dog and going camping while four strangers invade my home. I truly feel violated. Next time I hear the term “We don’t want to put you out” I will think of this!

YES, YOU ARE LITERALLY PUTTING ME OUT! Am I justified in my “aholyness”? Or should I dedicate a week of my time to entertain, cater to, and pay for a group of strangers that I will never see again?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Vast-Fortune-1583 said:

NTA: You have a wife problem. I'm very petty. I'd stay home and make them miserable. But that's just me. I would drive them anywhere. I wouldn't buy them food. Nothing.

Babbott50-410 said:

Your wife is TA not you. Since she continues to choose her sisters & mothers ruling her life, maybe she needs to understand that YOU ARE HER FAMILY and your house is not an Airbnb. Continue to take off when strangers invade your home. You also need to to let the in-laws know that you are tired of their interference in your marriage.

RevolutionaryDiet686 said:

NTA If they still come just take your happy self on a well earned vacation. Let them worry about everything.

Anxious_Article_2680 said:

Nta and you are not a hotel. Tell your wife to grow a set. No visitors!

BreakingUp47 said:

NTA. You know this won't be the last time they pull this free visit, right? Good luck to you.

Next-Drummer-9280 said:

Your wife needs a damn spine. She needs to tell her sisters: "WE decided that WE will NOT be hosting The Mooch Family when they're here. WE have also decided that WE will NOT be paying for everything.

They can get a hotel and a rental car or they don't have to come. Don't like it? Too bad. This is OUR decision and it stands. If you try to push US on this, WE will severely limit contact with you."