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'AITA for refusing to change items on my dinner menu so my sister’s kids will be able to eat?'

'AITA for refusing to change items on my dinner menu so my sister’s kids will be able to eat?'


"AITA for refusing to change items on my dinner menu so my sister’s kids will be able to eat?"

I will try to keep this short. We are having a celebration dinner, and a few weeks ago I sent out what I am having on the menu for this party. Obviously, there are many people with allergies or food they can’t even be around, so I want to be double sure everything is safe to eat and something okay for the all the guests.

I sent out an email asking to specify any allergies or something you cannot eat, like they would for any catered lunch. I got a call from my sister asking if I can change some menu items because her family just won’t eat a lot of that - nobody is allergic - they just “want to be able to enjoy the meal."

I said I’m not changing the menu and if the kids just won’t eat the menu, they are more than welcome to just bring their own chicken strips from fast food or something on the way to the party.

Now she’s upset at me. This is an event where we have “experiences” and eat certain dishes based on that particular course. She says the kids will feel left out of the experiences and the fun stuff we are doing.

I told her I can’t change it and when I said food you can’t eat - I meant if you’re gonna maybe die if you are near it. Not just if they don’t like it. Now she’s mad and won’t speak to me. I can’t deal with it anymore right now, which is why I’m here.

Later, OP edited the post to include:

We weren’t raised this way, it’s that I don’t have kids - so they hang over my head that I don’t understand because I don’t have kids. She wasn’t always like this.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

JohnRedcornMassage said:

NTA. They aren’t being left out at all. They’re refusing to participate. Parent entitlement is exhausting. You already offered to let them bring kid friendly food.

Making them a small sampler plate to try the new foods, while having some chicken tenders available if they don’t like it, caters to everyone. Does your ridiculous sister expect you to serve everyone fried chicken and French fries at your dinner party?

she_who_knits said:

NTA and your sister is a moron. Having food experiences is how you expand their palate. Dinner events with lots of people exclaiming over the food are awesome for this because the excitement encourages them to try new foods and of course, they want to be like the cool grown ups.

FloMoJoeBlow said:

NTA. This is how kids grow up to be spoiled brats. When I was little, I had two choices: “Take it” or “Leave it." Let your sister be all pissy.

PandaMime_421 said:

NTA. If she doesn't like your proposed solution, the next simplest is to disinvite the kids. If she doesn't like that, then just disinvite your sister and her entire family. The sense of entitlement of her to think you'd change the menu just because her kids wouldn't like it.

I grew up as a very picky eater (still am) and I'd never have the audacity to ask someone to change a menu, especially planned for multiple other people, just to satisfy myself.

MrsCinCali said:

NTA! I have 3 kids (5, 11 & 14) I have never and would never expect anyone to cook/serve according to what they like or will eat. Kids are picky, especially if you LET THEM BE."

She can teach them to eat better and that they have to eat or not eat what they are served but it’s not changing for them. Or like you suggested, she can bring something for them. She’s being ridiculous!

Whiskeybtch77 said:

Nta. My daughter is allergic To peanuts and tree nuts. She is the most adventurous eater I’ve ever met!! This is an example of just straight up picky entitled people. As long as there’s no nuts my daughter will Eat anything. If there are nuts she doesn’t complain and Will eat the other stuff. She’s been this way since about 3.

DankyMcJangles said:

I can't for the life of me figure out how your entitled sister's children ended up entitled. One of life's greatest mysteries. Just uninvite them and enjoy your event without the headache. NTA.

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