Woman refuses inheritance after father’s will imposes life-altering conditions. AITA?
"AITA for refusing my father’s inheritance because of his absurd conditions?"
Hi, I need help deciding if I made the right choice. A few months ago, my father passed away. We always had a complicated relationship; he was a very controlling man and couldn’t handle things not going his way.
When his will was read, I was shocked to find out the conditions he had set for me to receive my share of the inheritance. The will stated that I would receive a significant amount of money and the family home, but only if I met three requirements:
I had to move into the house and live there for at least five years. I couldn’t sell or rent out any property I already owned. I had to take in his dog, a massive mastiff that I’ve never liked, and personally care for it.
While I understand that the dog was important to him, I’m not in a position to uproot my life to meet these conditions. I have my own home, a stable life in another city, and I don’t want to disrupt everything just to follow his wishes.
Plus, taking care of that dog would be a huge responsibility, and I don’t think it’s fair to impose that on me. I decided to decline the inheritance. Now, my family is furious with me.
They say I’m being ungrateful, that my father worked hard to leave us something, and that I should have respected his wishes. Some have even accused me of being selfish for not "making an effort" to preserve the family legacy.
Honestly, I’m not sure if I did the wrong thing. I don’t want to upend my life for conditions I think are unreasonable. But at the same time, I can’t help but feel guilty. AITA for refusing my father’s inheritance because of the conditions he imposed?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's inital post:
They’re furious because they don’t want to take on the dog.
Just hopping on the top comment to say that OP should get his own legal counsel and check these conditions are enforceable - often they are not, especially unreasonable ones (like expecting you to uproot yourself, possibly have to move jobs to live in the house, but also you’re not allowed to rent and make income from any property you own and may still be paying mortgage on?)
It's such a stupid bunch of stipulations. What are you supposed to do with your properties in the 5 years you're living at his house, just pay the mortgages and leave them empty? It's such an absurd condition that makes no difference to the dead guy. NTA, your dad can get lost.
She asked, and you answered honestly. Her actions directly caused the issue, and it’s fair that your roommate doesn’t want someone around who spread damaging rumors about him. She embarrassed herself with her reaction, not you.
If he knew you well , he probably also knew you wouldn't accept those terms. I think he just didn't want to leave you anything thus the restrictions.
NTA, even in death, he is still trying to control you. Good for you for not giving in to taking the dog or the terms and conditions. Just a quick question: Was that stipulation in the will for you, or was it for everyone?
I’m sure you can accept the inheritance without the terms.
Whose going to know if you rent out your house and re-home the dog??
Your father obviously wants to control you from beyond the grave and I'm sorry for that. What I don't understand is why your family is mad at you. If you decline the inheritance, your part will be re-distributed among the other heirs, right? You're not ungrateful, because you never asked for this to happen.
I don't see how your family can expect you to disrupt your current life, that is the result of your own hard work, just because your father couldn't let go of his controlling tendencies, even in death? This is his last attempt at controlling you.
Also, it's not a family legacy, because it was left to you specifically: not to the rest of your family. Don't let your family muddle the issue by throwing around things like 'family legacy' because it simply isn't.
I think you are doing absolutely the right thing: you prioritise your life over the unreasonable wishes of a dead man. Your father didn't have your best interests at heart: not in life and not in death. You don't need to respect unreasonable wishes.
This sounds like the start of a Stephen King novel. You move back to a small town from the city. Everyone looks at you strangely. All go silent when you enter the diner. Only that one slightly outcast girl will be your friend.
Two years in, boom, you discover a trans-dimensional portal in the basement and you need to be there in five years time to make sure it closes else a world of misery will seep through. Dad knew this all along but rather than tell you, there is a note explaining all up in the attic where no one will ever look.
It sounds like your father wanted to control you even after his death - and even show the world that he controlled you. By declining your inheritance, you refused to let him control you any longer.
I don't know, but I would suggest, that (1) your family also wanted to control you, and (2) your family felt entitled to some part of that house. Had you kept the house, they would have been bothering you about it for the rest of your life. You chose to live your life by your rules, not by your father's rules. Nobody can fault you for that. NTA.