'AITA for refusing to let my fiancés aunt see our newborn until she apologizes for 'jokes?' UPDATED

"AITA for refusing to let my fiancé's aunt see our newborn baby until she apologizes for unsolicited 'jokes?'"

My fiancé (26M) and I (24F) just recently had our first child. This has been a pretty big deal for us since I had a major pregnancy loss with our daughter in 2024. A couple days ago, my fiancé's aunt flew in from out of town to congratulate us and meet our son. When she got to our house, she kept making unsolicited "jokes" about this baby and my loss last year.

My fiancé had told her multiple times to stop and got very serious about it. She however still refused to apologize to either of us and continued making "jokes". I eventually told his aunt that I'm not going to allow her to see the baby anymore until she apologizes and proves to the both of us that she can be a mature adult.

I made it very clear to her that I don't need empathy, I don't need her to support either of us through this, nor do I even need her to give us any grievances- all I need from her is to be excited for us in the present moment, not to compare it to the past. (Edit) She got very angry when I told her this and yelled at us for being unfair and claimed we're taking her away from her own family. AITA?

Note: My fiancé is in agreement with me and is backing me up on this 100%. He agrees that her words, actions, and levels of immaturity are unacceptable.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

Anoncommenter321 wrote:

Absolutely NTA. Lock your doors!

Ps massive congratulations! Enjoy those newborn cuddles, the days are long but the years are short.

OP responded:

Thank you for the congrats- I'm cherishing these newborn cuddles for sure. He'll only be this small once.

[deleted] wrote:

Honestly, I would of told her to leave, and put her out on the street to find her own way round and own accommodation. You have a hell of a lot of patience I would of given her a swift kick in the rear after she was warned the first time.

OP responded:

If my baby wasn't right there, in my arms, we would've yelled back at her. Our son was getting fed so there was only so much we could do to remove him from her yelling so I had to remove myself from the room as a whole. If it wasn't for our newborn being right there, our patience levels would not have been as stable.

FunProfessional570 wrote:

She FAFO. Your baby your rules. And she’s an AH for making jokes about the loss of a child and an even bigger AH for continuing when you’ve both asked her to stop.

Stick to your rules.

Sweet_Permission_700 wrote:

I've lost a child. She was 6.
People who said s#$ty things then are still not in my life over 8 years later.

The next day, OP shared an update.

Update: I'm not sure if anyone wanted an update, but here it is. Please keep in mind that although I posted just last night, this situation happened multiple days ago. My fiancé's aunt is currently staying with his parents. Earlier today, my fiancé went over to talk to her about it. I stayed home by choice, for what i feel are pretty obvious reasons.

He went over and explained to her that we are cutting all contact with her, she's not invited to our wedding, she will never see our son again, etc. He told her that she crossed the line and that because of her actions, if we did receive an apology, we would have a hard time believing her apology was sincere.

Obviously much more was said, I'm just giving a more general overview. The part that threw me off even more was the fact that she never even told his parents what happened. His parents were shocked and flipped out on her.

They told her that her options were to go stay at a hotel and experience this area by herself, or to get a ticket to fly back home. None of my fiancé's immediate family (his parents and two younger sisters) have turned on or blamed me. I'm so lucky and thankful to have my fiancé, as well as (most of) his family in my life. Thank you for reading as well as the input I got in the comments.

The comments kept coming.

miserylovescomputers wrote:

What I’m curious about is what the heck kind of jokes can be made about someone’s stillborn baby, and how does this lady have not just one but a whole bunch of them that she’s happily trotting out for poor OP and her fiancé?

Peter095837 wrote:

Look if someone makes a joke about losing a pregnancy or a very serious topic, I flip out like the devil and throw those people out fast.

Aunt is a real AH.

littlebloodmage wrote:

I've always thought d**d baby jokes were distasteful in any context, actively making those jokes in front of people who have actually experienced that kind of trauma is beyond the pale. That woman needs to see a therapist, that's some antisocial behavior.

mkzw211ul wrote:

It's hard to imagine what comments the aunt was making, OP chose not to give examples, and it's hard to imagine why aunt would make any more than a single comment at most about the pregnancy loss. As always OP is not TA which is disappointing in the teacher bait subs. The common theme is family who think they are entitled to OP's child.

Gwynasyn wrote:

I cannot even fathom the brain of the person who walks into the parents of a newborn and says "hey you know what's really funny? Your child that passed before this one amirite?"