'AITA for refusing to let my friend crash after he roasted my apartment in front of everyone?' UPDATED

"AITA for refusing to let my friend crash at my place after he roasted my apartment in front of everyone?"

Alright, this might sound petty, but I feel like I was justified. I (26M) have a small one-bedroom apartment. It’s not fancy, but it’s clean, it’s mine, and I worked my a-- off to afford it.

Like, IKEA everything, but I got a gaming setup I love and a little fake plant that’s absolutely thriving. Last weekend, I had a few friends over for pizza and chill. Nothing wild. My friend Kyle (27M), who’s been kinda couch-surfing lately, shows up and IMMEDIATELY starts roasting my place.

Like he walks in and goes, “Damn, bro, is this a studio or a jail cell?” Everyone laughs. I brush it off. Then he goes, “Yo where’s your dining table? You just eat off your lap like a raccoon?” Again, laughs. I joke back like “Better than eating off someone else’s couch, man,” and everyone laughs again.

But he doesn’t stop. He jokes about my “sad little gamer chair,” my “bare fridge,” and even says my bathroom looks like it’s “been through something traumatic.” It was funny for like 5 seconds. Then it got annoying. Then it got rude.

Fast forward to this week, he texts me saying he got kicked from the place he was staying and asks if he can crash on my couch for a few nights. I literally responded, “I thought my apartment was too sad for you, man.”

Now he’s calling me petty. A few mutuals said I should’ve let it slide because he’s “going through a lot.” I feel for him, but like… why would I let someone stay in a place they just spent an hour clowning?

So yeah, AITA for not letting my buddy crash at my place after he roasted it in front of everyone?

TL;DR: Friend made fun of my apartment all night during a hangout. A few days later, he asks if he can crash on my couch. I said no. Now he says I’m being petty. AITA?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Academic-Dare1354 wrote:

NTA. The friends who think you should get over it can offer their places.

OP responded:

Exactly!! If they’re so eager to play hostel manager, Kyle’s got a whole group chat to crash with. I’ll be here in my sad little gamer chair, not getting roasted.

TheEvilSatanist wrote:

First off, good on you for having your own place! I didn't get my first place by myself until I was in my 30's (I had roomies.) Second, it sounds like he's an ass and he's jealous that you have your shit together while he doesn't.

Third, there's a reason he got kicked from his last place, probably bc he was an ass to the person or people he was staying with. You definitely don't need that in your life! So yeah to sum it up, you're definitely NTA.

Which-Month-3907 wrote:

NTA but you need to pay more attention to the fact that your buddy got kicked out of his last crash pad. If someone has been kicked out by a friend, then there's a good chance that you (also a friend) will have to kick them out too. It sounds like some part of him "going through a lot" is him experiencing the consequences of his actions. Even if you get a sincere apology, your friend is still an unsafe bet.

calypsosmoon wrote:

NTA he spent all that time roasting your place and now he’s outstayed his welcome somewhere else and is desperate. Tell him your place is too small for two people and he needs to ask someone else but you’re not going to be part of his musical couch circuit.

FOCOmojo wrote:

Why reward boorish behavior? Let him know that after his multiple negative comments, you just can't imagine living under the same roof as him, even temporarily. Sounds like you have a circle of friends. Let somebody else take him in. That guy needs to be taken down a peg or two and develop a little humbleness.

[deleted] wrote:

NTA. He's an idiot. Don't bite the hand that feeds.

OP responded:

Yeah, next time I’ll make sure to offer 5-star hotel service before getting roasted for not having a dining table.

Not long after posting, OP shared an update.

Appreciate all the comments. Honestly didn’t expect this to blow up a little. So, mini update: Kyle saw the post. (Yep.) A mutual sent it to him, apparently the phrase "sad little gamer chair" really tipped him off. He texted me something like “lmao real mature bro, air out your feelings on Reddit,” and then left the group chat we’re in. So that’s fun.

One of the same friends who said I was being petty later texted me like, “Okay yeah, Kyle was out of line.” Apparently Kyle's been doing this kinda stuff to other people too, cracking jokes that go too far and acting like it’s always “just a bit.” Which… yeah. Exactly.

Bonus update, I picked up a folding table from this local guy who had five in his basement for some reason. It’s ugly, but it does the job. If someone makes another raccoon comment, I’m flipping it dramatically.

So yeah, still chilling in my apartment. Still got my IKEA shelves and my $9 fake plant that’s somehow the healthiest thing in my life right now. Kyle’s not staying here, but I hope he figures his stuff out. Just…not on my couch.

Thanks again, internet. Y’all cracked me up and also made me feel way less crazy.

The internet was happy to hear the update.

Youtastestrange wrote:

Get a spider plant. They're like $3 online and can survive a bombing. I've had one in a cup of water for a year and a half. After the first year I took pity on it and added a tiny amount of fertilizer and it's f#$king thrilled. I can go a month without watering it, but it curls its leaves a little so I can always see when it's thirsty.

It'll probably survive two months, but I've never forgotten about it for that long. It can reproduce like a tribble so you could fill your entire house with spider plants in two months if you were so inclined.

kmflushing wrote:

Still gets me that the homeless couch surfer was roasting someone's apartment.

Like what?

JBB20022902 wrote:

Not gonna lie, the “better than someone else’s couch” comment in your original post sent me. Glad he saw it and got schooled on what a douche he’s being. Enjoy your apartment - it sounds great! Never let anybody try to shame you for living within your means, especially when that person doesn’t even have somewhere to live.

itsallminenow wrote:

If I ended up being kicked out of my house there are 5 people I could call right away and have a bed inside an hour. That ain't boasting, that's just having community. Kyle doesn't have that because he's a sour, bitter, childish little prick. His situation is not how it is because of misfortune, it's how it is because nobody wants to be close enough to him to have his back, and that's all on him.