'AITA for refusing to give back my grandfather's wedding ring?'
"AITA for refusing to give back my grandfather's wedding ring?"
I'm 27F and currently 24 weeks pregnant. After my grandmother passed, her house was inherited by my mom (57F) and my uncle. My mom offered the house to me and my husband to rent, which we agreed to. Following that, both my mom and uncle told us to break our lease and plan to move into the house in two months.
We broke our lease and began preparing to move. About a month later after we'd already given notice and started packing they told us they were going to sell the house instead. What honestly made us more upset is that they had apparently decided this a week before they told us, but still asked us to go clean out furniture and prep the place for moving in.
Because we were so upset my mom offered us an alternative she would gift us $70,000 either as a down payment on a home or to fully buy a mobile home. We agreed mostly because I’m pregnant and we can’t afford to be without stable housing right now. And for what it's worth there are actually some beautiful mobile homes that would work well for us.
To start the actual issue during the clean out process I found my grandfather's wedding ring. I was extremely close to him growing up and it meant a lot to me. I didn’t just take it I explicitly asked my mom if I could have it and she told me yes.
Now out of nowhere she's demanding I give the ring back and threatening to withhold the $70,000 if I don’t. At first I refused mostly out of anger. I already feel like I was led on and lost the chance to move into what was supposed to be our home. This just felt like another thing being taken from me. But now I’m second guessing myself. Am I being petty or overly emotional? AITA for not giving the ring back?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Zestyclose-Height-36 said:
Nta, your mom is never going to give you money. she lies and is as controlling af. Did your grandfather have a will? do not sign anything without a lawyer present. did your grandfather leave you $70k that she is leveraging? she sounds like she is building an excuse in her mind to keep your inheritance.
simplyexistingnow said:
Your mom sucks. You know honesty her behavior is something I would ultimately go no contact over. Do you think your mom will actually give you the $70,000 for the mobile home? The mobile home and property will be in your name correct and not your mom's?
I mean here the ultimate goal is to make sure that you have stable housing that is yours and in your name if you can get that it might be best to wash your hands of your mom and the ring and just give it back to her because the housing is more important if she gives it to you. Although I would make backup plans just in case.
Gemfyre1 said:
Keep the ring. She’s NOT giving you that 70k regardless of how many hoops you jump through. That goal post will always be just shy and it’s “your fault” somehow.
throwRA-nt said:
Do you need the 70k over the ring? If so get her to write up a contract as she has reneged her promises before. This is likely the ending your relationship as she has destroyed your relationship with her and is I interfering in your marriage.
different-take4u said:
NTA, after someone has lied to you, you become the fool by ever believing anything that comes out of their mouths after the lie. She has also moved the goal posts and put forth more requirements, it is clear that she wants to have control of the success in your life.
She wants to have strings that she can pull to force you to do as she wants. If you are smart, you will walk away and never accept any gift from her for the rest of your life.
FairyFartDaydreams said:
NTA. She is lying to you. They are using you for free labor and right now it is a buyers market so they probably have been told they would not get as much for it as they expected.
sandcraftedserenity said:
She doesn't have the 70K or she wouldn't need to sell the house. If you give her the ring, you won't have either one anyway. NTA.