I (28F) come from a family of five—my parents, my two siblings (30M, 25F), and me. Growing up, I was always the "black sheep." My siblings were the golden children, and while I wasn't outright ignored, I definitely got the short end of the stick.
A few months ago, my family planned a big overseas trip. I found out through my sister’s Instagram posts, not from them directly. When I asked why I wasn’t included, my mom said, "We didn’t think you’d want to come, and besides, we’re tight on budget." It hurt, but I let it go.
Fast forward to a month ago: I bought a lottery ticket on a whim and ended up winning a life-changing amount—over $2 million. I decided to use the money wisely: paid off debts, invested, and set aside some for fun. I didn’t tell my family right away because I didn’t want them to treat me differently.
Well, word got out after I bought a new car, and now they’re furious I didn’t offer to "share the wealth." My mom said it’s selfish to keep all that money to myself when they’re struggling (news to me, given the vacation). My sister hinted that I should pay for her student loans, and my brother outright asked me to buy him a house.
I calmly explained that I wasn’t obligated to share just because we're related, especially given how they’ve treated me in the past. I mentioned the trip as an example of how I’ve been excluded. My dad said, "That was different; this is family money."
Now they’re all calling me an ungrateful brat and saying I’m ruining the family dynamic. AITA for standing my ground and not giving them any money?
Fearless-Fennel4929 said:
NTA this is not “family money” it’s your money. I’d suggest cutting them off they’ll probably just keep harassing you for money. They’re just here to use you.
KinkyPresident said
NTA. You won the money it’s yours to do with as you please. Full stop. Even without the mistreatment they aren’t entitled to your winnings.
RogerPenroseSmiles said:
Don't give them one red cent. In fact, I'd get a solid will and trust set up so that in case anything happens to you, they don't get crap either. If you don't have next of kin or family who actually treats you well, then give it to a charity of your choice and with a locked down trust there is no way they can fight it in the worst case scenario. NTA.
rrspmmn230 said:
NTA. "Family money?" Last I checked, that ticket had your name on it. They can’t exclude you when it’s convenient and then show up with open hands when they think you’ve got something to give. Enjoy your winnings and the peace that comes with keeping boundaries.
Proud_Way7663 said:
NTA. That’s your money and if they could see past their insane greed for 10 seconds they’d realize that 2 million is surely life changing but is not “never work again” money for a 28 year old.
Also, if you did invest it wisely you could tell them that maybe over time you would consider lending money to them if they’re going through a hardship, but it doesn’t sound like that. It sounds like they expected you to divide your winnings amongst them as you see fit.
It’s a lose-lose for you now. Even if you did give them money, they’d think you’re doing it out of pity or guilt. So keep it and have your own fun because no matter what you do they will persecute you for it.
SockMaster9273 said:
NTA. Your brother's demand to buy you a house is ridiculous. I understand the sister asking for help on loans but a house? That's a no no. Them asking you for money when they just went on a big trip without you, that's a big no no.
2 million is good money but you should still spend it wisely which you are currently doing. Continue to do so and continue to say no when you family ask for money. That's your money, not the families. If you wanna be petty, buy your brother a doll house or a Lego house.