'AITA for refusing to go to Christmas dinner if my boyfriend isn't invited?'

"AITA for refusing to go to Christmas Dinner if my boyfriend isn't invited?"

My boyfriend (27m) and I (24f) have been together for 5 years and he hasn’t met most of my extended family on my dads side yet. My dad has 2 brothers and 2 sisters and 3 of his 4 siblings live far away and usually don’t come down for holidays.

The sister that comes down every year has 3 kids a girl and 2 boys and they are all in there late twenties and early thirties. When they were in high school they always brought their partners to holidays and family get togethers 2 of them are married now and have kids of there own.

My other cousins have brought there partners when they come down and there have been no issues at all. My boyfriend has met my grandparents and they are hosting Christmas dinner on Christmas Day and this year everyone is coming down on my dads side I told my boyfriend this and he said he was excited to finally meet everyone.

I texted the family group chat saying that my boyfriend I would both be able to make it and asked what the budget would be for the gift exchange we do every year and was told by my mom and grandma that my boyfriend wasn’t invited. I was shocked and asked why and no one could give me an answer and when I asked if cousins girlfriends were coming still and my aunt said that they were all still coming.

I was upset and said if my cousins could bring there girlfriends then there was no reason my boyfriend can’t come. I don’t know why he wasn’t invited everyone he has met has said they like him and he gets along with everyone. I told him and he was crushed and was just as confused as me why he wasn’t invited. He told me I could still go but it hurts him to know he is the only partner who isn’t invited.

I told my family how hurt he was and asked again why he wasn’t invited but my cousins girlfriends were and I wasn’t given an answer so I told my family that if my boyfriend wasn’t invited I wasn’t coming I said how it wasn’t fair that he wasn’t invited and we’ve been together for 5 years and my one cousin's girlfriend was coming and they’ve only been together for 7 months.

Everyone in my family said I’d be ruining the dinner if I wasn’t there and said I could take leftovers for my boyfriend. I told them I wasn’t coming if my boyfriend wasn’t invited. My family blew up my phone calling me an ahole and saying I should come anyway. So AITA for refusing to go to Christmas dinner since my boyfriend isn’t invited?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

HunterGreenLeaves said:

NTA - but rephrase it: My boyfriend and I want to spend Christmas together. I'm sorry if that means we won't see the rest of the family, but we both send you our love and best wishes for the holiday season.

witchQueenShojo said:

NTA. If you aren't given a reason, a legitimate reason, don't go. There is either a deeper reason or blatant disrespect and favoritism.

nooutlaw4me said:

NTA. Don’t go. But have a very serious private conversation with your mother to get to the bottom of this. Don’t feel the need to share everything she says with your boyfriend.

Odd_Mathematician654 said:

NTA...but quit texting and get on a call with your mom, dad or grandmother to discuss why they are excluding him.

Shot-Artichoke-4106 said:

Based on what you've said, NTA, but I want to know the rest of the story. Out of all of your cousins with partners, only your BF isn't invited and no one will tell you why? What have you left out of the story?

cutensexxybabe said:

NTA. A 5-year boyfriend isn't some random plus one especially when your cousins are bringing their partners. It's unfair and makes sense if you wouldn't feel right going without him. Your fam is being weird for not giving a reason for not inviting your boyfriend. Give yourselves a nice Christmas date instead, OP.