'AITA for refusing to help my coworker?' 'He took a dig at me for finishing work early.'
"AITA for refusing to help my coworker after he took a dig at me for finishing my work early?"
I (40M) work in a pretty fast-paced office, and last week, my coworker Mark (34M) and I were both working on separate but related parts of a big project. I’m someone who likes to plan my time carefully, so I started early and made sure my portion was finished a day before the deadline.
That morning, while chatting near the coffee machine, Mark made an offhand comment in front of a few coworkers: “Must be nice having enough time to stroll around the office. I’m drowning over here while some people are on cruise control.” I brushed it off at the time, but honestly, I found it irritating. I don’t stroll—I just manage my workload well.
Fast forward to 5pm that day. I’m packing up to leave when Mark comes to my desk looking stressed and says, “Hey mate, I’m not going to finish my part on time. Can you stay late and help me out?”
I calmly told him I couldn’t—I’d already done my share of the work, and I had plans that evening. He got frustrated and muttered, “Typical.” I didn’t argue, I just left. The next day, Mark missed the deadline, and our manager wasn’t happy.
Now a few people are saying I could’ve been more of a team player and helped him out. I can’t help but feel like if he’d asked respectfully instead of taking digs at me earlier, I might have been more willing to stay.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Glittering_Ad_4 said:
NTA - your coworker’s lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on your part, especially after he badmouthed you. The fact that he expected you to help after that is wild.
chez2202 said:
NTA. He had every chance to ask you in the morning for help instead of b-ing. He waited until 5pm. That’s his problem, not yours.
Sick_Of_Facebook75 said:
Looks like Mark FAFO'd. No, you are NTA for refusing to bail Mark out after not managing his time better, and/or asking for help earlier that day, even if he hadn't made the rude comments he made.
wlfwrtr said:
NTA. You should have replied in the moment, "I have actually learned to manage my time. Something some people never learn because they don't concentrate on their work when they should. They're strolling around the office taking digs at people who do do their job when they're supposed to."
Early_Mix_9307 said:
NTA. I get where you are coming from. Years ago I worked for this company and every other week I was charged with closing down my section, on alternate weeks L did it instead.
One week someone asked me how I did the same job in half the time, that L did it but she was still there later than she should be. I replied it was simple... I asked people for their help closing the section down and she demanded it. Makes for an interesting dynamic.
StopSpinningLikeThat said:
NTA. Even if he asked respectfully, he did it at the absolute end of the work day. Was he not aware all day long that he was behind schedule? You set and held healthy boundaries and I have no objection. I say it is important to be a team player in the big picture, but it also is important not to put lipstick on a pig.
As far as the part where you wrote, "Now a few people are saying I could’ve been more of a team player and helped him out," well... why didn't those people stay and help him out? Super noble of them to volunteer your time but not theirs. Before this gets out of hand, perhaps a sit-down with you, the time management issue guy and your shared manager would be wise.