'AITA for refusing to help my parents care for my son who they adopted?'

"AITA for refusing to help my parents care for my son who they adopted?"

I am an oops baby. My folks had me when they were in their early forties. I got pregnant when I was in university. I didn't want it. I wanted to not be pregnant, but my parents said they would cut off all aid to me if I did that. So I carried it to term. Then I wanted to put the child up for adoption. I was not on a good place.

My parents insisted on adopting him so he is legally my brother. I do not hate him, but he is a reminder of something terrible that happened to me. I now go back home as little as possible. Maybe two days a year. I have graduated and I have a life far away from my parents.

My "brother" is twelve now. And he is not well behaved. My parents are now in their seventies and are having a bad retirement. They have to dedicate all their time to him. They can't take the vacations they planned. They won't downsize to a condo so they still have yardwork and stuff that he will not help with. None of my actual siblings will watch him to give them a break.

They reached out to me for help. I said no. I said that he is their son and their responsibility. They think I'm being cruel for forcing them to do everything after they helped me so much. It took everything I had in me not to curse them out.

Some of my relatives have reached out to me to see why I refuse to help fix the mess I made. Them I curse out and block. None of them helped me when I was pregnant against my will. The biological father is on the registry and cannot be near kids. Before you ask.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

SadFlatworm1436 said:

NTA but I’d change my tactic when the hassle comes, I’d have a typed out response ready to cut and paste in. Remind everyone that you did not want this pregnancy, forced, you did not want to keep this child, forced and for a third time you will not be forced to do anything.

Your parents made a choice and they have to live with the consequences…just like they made you live with the consequences of their forced choices. Cursing and blocking doesn’t get your side of the story out and people conveniently ‘forget’ what actually happened back 12 years ago.

FleurDisLeela said:

NTA I’m sorry you were forced.

unionmom4 said:

Your parents made their choice, if they were not forward thinking then that’s on them, you were very clear from the outset.

Kristmaus said:

NTA. They forced you to keep the pregnancy and then wanted to adopt the baby. Now, let them deal with their lack of programming regarding what would have happened in their 70s.

Cirdon_MSP said:

NTA. Choices have consequences. Your parents made a series of terrible choices.

Ok_Childhood_9774 said:

NTA at all. Your parents are suffering the consequences of their hateful decisions. Your "brother" is not your responsibility and you have no obligation to help with him now. I'm sorry for all you've been through.