'AITA for refusing to help my parents financially? 'They secretly supported my perfect sibling.'
"AITA for refusing to help my parents financially after they secretly supported my 'perfect' sibling instead of me?"
Growing up, I was always the “self-sufficient” one. I worked hard, earned scholarships, and took on part-time jobs to pay my way through college. My younger sibling, however, had everything handed to them—new car, fully paid tuition, even an apartment. I always assumed my parents were simply more financially stable when my sibling came along, and I didn’t want to make a fuss.
Fast forward to last month: My parents called me, saying they’re in financial trouble and asked if I could help them with a loan. I thought about it, wanting to do the “right” thing, but then something didn’t add up.
So, I asked them directly why they’d spent so much on my sibling and not me. That’s when they admitted they’d actually saved up for both of us but used almost all of it to support my sibling because they “needed it more.” I was devastated.
Here I was, working myself to exhaustion to stay afloat, while they funded my sibling’s every whim, fully knowing I was struggling. I told them I can’t help them financially, as it wouldn’t be fair to myself.
Now my sibling and some extended family are calling me heartless and ungrateful, saying that “family supports each other,” and that I’m letting my parents suffer over “old grudges.” AITA for refusing to bail out my parents after learning the truth about their financial favoritism? What type of person would you support in your POV?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
MushroomRadiant4647 said:
NTA. Why can’t the younger sibling help out your parents? You struggled all your life to make your own way without the help of your parents, and now they need your help? I mean, they couldn’t help you before, but now they want your help? I’d definitely think twice.
lurninandlurkin said:
NTA. Time for your fully funded sibling to start paying back some money to your parents, especially as they say that they believe "family supports each other."
Hawaiianstylin808 said:
Actually family doesn’t support each other as you can attest to. You didn’t get any. Golden child can fork over the money. NTA.
Gohighsweetcherry said:
Send a message out to family telling them that you give your permission to your sibling that the (insert figure) that was saved for you but instead given to them, be given back to your parents. NTA.
FantasticCabinet2623 said:
NTA. Family clearly doesn't support each other or they would have supported you and your sister equally. Also I notice none of the flying monkeys opening THEIR wallets.
Flashy_blue-eyes said:
NTA. Where was their support for you when you were struggling? Oh that's right... funding your sibling. Your sibling and other family members that are saying that can help your parents out. You owe them nothing. I wouldn't help them out either. They made their bed, now they can sleep in it.