'AITA for refusing to let my friend use my house for her wedding?' UPDATED

"AITA for refusing to let my friend use my house for her wedding?"

My friend Sandra and I have known each other for over 20 years (we are 30-32).

Sandra is getting married to Andres, and I am married to Ian. Some info:

• Andres and I originally come from the same country and even the same region. We share many characteristics. We both have very round faces, deep brown eyes, long straight black hair, etc. If you didn't know better, you might assume we are siblings.

• I met Andres six years ago and introduced him to Sandra. He proposed two years ago. I own a beautiful property in my home country that I was ready to lend to Sandra and Andres for their wedding.

• My property is like a finca and has 10 rooms. Usually, I would rent it out for weddings at a somewhat high price, but I was happy to give it to them at no cost, with the condition that they hire their own catering and have their guests strip their beds when they leave.

The issue: Three months ago, Sandra became more reclusive. She wouldn't answer my texts, and we didn't meet up. Two weeks ago, she appeared at my door with Andres. They sat us down (my husband included) and said she suspected that my daughter is actually Andres' biological daughter and requested a paternity test for peace of mind.

I was so shocked that I couldn't say anything. My husband lost his temper and raised his voice, telling Sandra that she was being absolutely stupid. Sandra pointed out that my daughter looks like Andres. I explained that Andres and I look alike. She kept shaking her head, saying my daughter would look more like my husband and not like my exact copy.

The evening ended poorly. I agreed to the test if they paid for it. The results came back last Friday, showing that Andres was not the father. We also did a test confirming that my husband is the father.

Sandra cried and tried to hug me. I told her I didn't want to and that I didn't want to be friends with her for the time being. She kept saying her worries were justified and made a comment about "women from your country being more likely to do that."

In that moment, I was filled with anger. I told her she could forget about using the venue and that I didn't want her in my life anymore. She started crying, but I made her leave. Her mom and she have been texting me, saying they can't find a new venue. I still said no.

Twenty minutes ago, Sandra called me sobbing, saying that the wedding is off because of me. AITA? Should I have let her use the venue at the usual price, or was what I did okay?

Edit: Andres was not chill about this. He seemed exasperated. He was quite upset and basically just agreed to this, so she would drop it. I didn't include it because I did not see the relevance for the conflict between me and her

Here's what people had to say:

Dry-Reception-2388

NTA. The wedding is off because she was an insecure jealous friend who accused you of cheating on your husband with her fiancé because she was delusional AF. She then had the audacity to try to hug you.

She then had the audacity to be awful when you stuck up for yourself. She then had the audacity to try to use YOUR place for her venue. She then had the audacity to cry and beg you.

She then had the audacity to blame you for her doom engagement falling through. And yet you’re the one asking if you’re in the wrong? No just no. Enjoy your new found peace without her in your life.

Top-Bit85

She also had the audacity to bring her mother in as a flying monkey.

whoopiedo

Totally NTA. The wedding is off because of her. Apart from the slurs she flung at you, she demonstrated that she has no trust in her fiancé. I suspect that this is the real reason why the wedding is off. If it was just the venue, they could have found another or postponed.

Comprehensive_Value

I don't understand how Andres can go along with the request of paternity test. Is there some missing info about your and Andres' past or he just skipped sex ed class? Or just the woman is crazy ("women from your country being more likely to do that." really ?). Anyhow NTA.

Bubbly-Fail-4316 OP responded:

She just wouldn't let it go and he wanted to prove it to her.

Emergency_Mastodon56

NTA. I’m a redhead, my son totally got his brown hair, tanning skin and chocolate eyes from his mom and not me, and he is 100% mine. Your friend is TA for accusing, and quite vicious to be thinking that all women from your country are promiscuous. SMDH.

CrimsonPhantom922

NTA, and especially so once she blamed the wedding being called off because of you. As if her fiance wasn’t having second thoughts the minute she accused yall of having illegitimate kids. Sandra takes no accountability, and she can go sleep in the grave she dug.

Dapper-Cantaloupe866

The wedding isn't off because of you, it's off because she showed her fiance that she doesn't trust him.

Odd_Welcome7940

She made her fiance get a DNA test for a kid with a woman he had never been with and blames the woman for her marriage being canceled? The cognitive dissonance and willful ignorance here are very deep. NTA.

Whole-Sundae-98

Of course you're not. She made a spurious comment about your daughter. Hopefully, Andres called the wedding off because of her behaviour.

OP came back with this update:

They are no longer together. Sandra just wrote me an email apologizing and, for some reason paypal'd me 25,67€. Anyway. Thank you for weighing in.