'AITA for refusing to house-sit for my friend after I found out they got a cat?' 'They forgot.'
"AITA for refusing to house-sit for my friend after I found out they got a cat?"
I (28M) agreed to house-sit for my friend Alex (30M) while they went on a week-long vacation. Alex has a dog that I’ve always loved, and I thought it would be nice to help them out. I even took some time off work to make sure I could give the dog plenty of attention.
A few days before Alex left, I went over to get the house keys and a rundown of what needed to be done. That’s when Alex casually mentioned, “Oh, by the way, we got a cat!”
This caught me off guard because I’m very allergic to cats. Alex knows this—I’ve had to leave gatherings early before because of my allergies. I asked why they hadn’t told me earlier, and Alex said they forgot because they’d only had the cat for about a month.
I told Alex I couldn’t stay in their house if they had a cat. Even if I avoided it, the dander would still trigger my allergies. I suggested they ask someone else or hire a sitter. Alex got defensive, saying I was leaving them in a lurch right before their trip.
I felt bad, but I didn’t think it was fair for Alex to spring this on me last minute. I offered to check in on the dog daily (if they could isolate the cat in another room), but Alex said that wouldn’t work.
They ended up scrambling to find someone else and left for their trip angry at me. A mutual friend later told me I should’ve sucked it up for a week because Alex really needed the break and probably just forgot to mention the cat. I’m starting to feel like I might’ve overreacted. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ArreniaQ said:
NTA. I also have allergies to cat dander. I can tolerate neighbors cat that comes over and visits outside, but NOT in the house. They have had the cat for a month, it's hair and dander are everywhere. They were not planning to make the effort to clean a space for you where the cat was not allowed.
Your friend who is saying you should have sucked it up for a week obviously has no idea what it's like to have streaming eyes and nose, swollen face and not able to breathe. They knew for a month before bothering to tell you, they found someone else to do it, so any issues are on Alex and his family.
Full_Pace7666 said:
NTA. Anyone who tells you to “suck it up” when it comes to an allergy isn’t someone worth keeping around.
CommunityDefiant4292 said:
NTA. You’re allergic to cats! Even worse …your friend knows about it! They just tried to force your hand, thinking you wouldn’t back out at the last minute! Stand your ground.
pottersquash said:
NTA. I'm guessing since discovering this allergy you haven't spent multiple days in a home with a cat. You have no idea how your body would respond to that. It may not have been physically possible for you to do it.
Rare-Cheesecake9701 said:
NTA. You would have “sucked it up” if you agreed to sit despite the cat. Probably the last time in your life. I’m so pissed at how people treat allergies. It’s not just “some sneezing” it’s our freaking body attacking itself because our immune system goes nuts. Those friends are aholes, OP.
Be careful with them, as even when they get back, they will be covered in your allergens and 100% be like: “Oh, c’mon, that’s just some hair! Don’t be dramatic!”
didthefabrictear said:
He didn’t "forget" to tell you – he told you last minute hoping you’d feel bad enough to not pull out. You were doing them a favor and instead of appreciating, they moved the goalposts with zero thought for you – and then had the balls to be pissy cause you won’t’ spend a week sneezing and itchy for the sake of their new cat. Man – I hate people like this. Selfish, self centered, arrogant users. NTA at all.