'AITA for refusing to lend my coworker my high-end noise canceling headphones?'

"AITA for refusing to lend my coworker my high-end noise canceling headphones?"

My coworker who sits at the desk next to mine came over yesterday morning to ask if he could borrow my expensive headphones for a few hours. He explained that he had a massive deadline and the office was particularly loud that day which was making it impossible for him to concentrate on his data entry.

I told him no because I am very protective of my electronics, and the ear pads are made of a soft material that I do not like other people touching or sweating on I also told him that I paid a lot of money for them, and I am worried about the internal components being handled by someone else.

He became visibly frustrated and said that coworkers should help each other out when someone is struggling to get their work done on time. He pointed out that he has covered my desk tasks several times when I had to step out for personal errands and thought we had a supportive professional relationship.

I feel like I might be TA because my refusal was based entirely on my own hygiene preferences and a fear of damage rather than any history of him being careless. I also watched him struggle to focus for the rest of the afternoon while he kept getting distracted by office noise while my headphones sat unused on my desk while I was in meetings.

I know he is a responsible person and I probably damaged our good working rapport over a piece of plastic and foam that I could have easily shared for a short time I am worried that I am being far too rigid with my possessions and that I am prioritizing a gadget over a person who has actually gone out of his way to help me stay on track with my job.

However, I still feel that personal electronics are private items and I have the right to decide exactly who gets to wear them and how they are handled. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

No-Captial4555 wrote:

I was curious so checked price on some of these headphones. $458 at Amazon. Geeze I wouldn't lend them out either. People just think they are entitled to other peoples stuff.

OP responded:

It's quite expensive and this came as a gift from my boyfriend.

MeinSC40 wrote:

NTA. To me this is almost like asking to wear your underwear. Headphones are very personal.

OP responded:

You're totally right! Plus the headphone was given to me as a gift and I wouldn't want to rish the chances of it getting damaged!

secretsuace2388 wrote:

NTA. Coworker didn't bring headphones, that's his fault, not yours. Covering desk for a few minutes here and there isn't remotely the same as allowing someone else to wear your headphones, especially if they were expensive.

Also, if he had a "massive deadline" you'd think he'd prepare for it better than apparently waiting until the last day. Presumably he's also aware that the office can get loud. His poor planning isn't your responsibility. Will he no longer cover your desk? Probably not.

OP responded:

I really appreciate you validating my boundaries regarding personal hygiene and expensive electronics as it makes me feel less guilty about my choice.

Goblynn wrote:

NTA. Your concerns are valid. Certain things are inherently risky to share. Most people learn from a young age not to share hats, headphones, or drinks for a reason and besides the hygiene concerns the headphones were an expensive personal item. I’m sure no one would reasonably expect to borrow your phone so they shouldn’t expect to borrow expensive headphones either.

OP responded:

It is a relief to hear that others also view high end headphones as a private item that should not be passed around the office.

Hungryteap0t wrote:

NTA. I've been on social media platforms. The amount of people who have no shame sharing their disgusting hygiene habits means I don't want them touching my stuff. I've heard women changing sanitary towels, then leaving the bathroom without washing their hands and touching all the door handles etc.

I can't avoid public spaces and have to accept that people can be disgusting, but that doesn't mean I'm happy sharing my things with them especially headphones. Stop leaving them out on display at your desk because he might retaliate. Some people are petty.

captains_log_2021 wrote:

We work in an open office type setting. Sometimes we are in calls. Work provided headsets to use. They are not noise-cancelling, so sometimes difficult to hear, but the speaker bit is very good and clients can hear clearly. Sometimes someone forgets theirs and asks another who isn’t using theirs to borrow it. I haven’t heard anyone decline yet, unless they were using or going to use them.

However, I’ve never seen anyone ask for another’s personal headphones. If someone asked for my personal headphones, if it was my friend I might do for only a short while, since I brought them for exactly the reason as your colleague—office noise gets distracting. No one has asked me, though. Also, I hardly have prolonged times where I don’t use them (I’m often on calls). If it’s your coworker who helps you a lot, they might have had different expectations from you. It would have been worthwhile to spend a bit of time to explain your reasoning regarding hygiene, etc. Hope you two don’t lose a good work relationship over this.

minstrelgardener wrote:

NTA, but I wouldn’t ask my co-workers for anything that isn’t directly related to job performance from this point forward. Life presents a constant variety of options ad choices, and you made one that suits your preferences. That said, all of our choices have repercussions.

bnyc wrote:

YTA for your lack of punctuation. You absolutely didn't have to lend your headphones, but he doesn't have to help you out when you ask for favors yourself. I'm sure he had a realization that just as your electronics are yours, so are your job duties.

Don't be surprised next time you have to run a personal errand and ask for help covering your tasks to be met with the same "no, your problems are not my responsibilities" that you answered him with.