'AITA for refusing to let my brother's kids stay at my house?' 'They trashed it.'
"AITA for refusing to let my brother's kids stay at my house after they trashed it last time?"
I (32F) live in a nice, cozy home that I've worked really hard to maintain. My brother (34M) has three kids, ages 6, 8, and 10. A few months ago, he ask if they could stay at my place for the weekends because he and his wife needed a break, I agreed, thinking it would be nice to bond with my nieces and nephew.
Well, that weekend turned into a nightmare. The kids went absolutely wild. They broke several things, including a vas that was a gift from my late grandmother, spilled juice on my white couch, and even scribbled on the walls with markers. I tried to manage the situation, but whenever I told them to stop or try to set boundaries, they completely ignored me.
When I told my brother about the damage, he just laughed it off and said, 'Kids will be kids'. He didn't offer to help clean up or replace anything. I was really hurt but didn't make a big deal out of it at the time.
Fast forward to now, he's asking if the kids can stay over again because they want to go on another weekend trip. I told him no, explaining what happened last time and that I don't want to deal with that again. He got really upset, saying I'm punishing his kids for being kids and that I'm being unfair.
Now my parents are involved, saying I should "be the bigger person" and help out my brother. They say the kids ae sorry and just want to spend time with their aunt. But I'm still traumatized by the last time they were here. AITA for refusing to let them stay at my house again?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
thatsaSagittarius said:
NTA. Kids are kids but not destructors. He and his wife probably need a break because they can't control their own kids. They're the kind of parents to tell everyone "kids will be kids" as they destroy property, run around stores, run around the airport, etc. Getting a little rowdy because it's a sleepover?
Fine. Breaking belongings and DRAWING on walls? Nope. Your parents could practice what they preach and take the kids in for the weekend. But protect your peace - don't let them come over again. They're old enough.
Major_Barnacle_2212 said:
NTA. No wonder the parents need a break. They created this mess and are stuck with it. Worse, they’re as entitled as the kids because they refused to make right what was damaged.
And somehow I’m guessing grandma and grandpa aren’t offering to be the “bigger people.” Now you have to parent the parents by showing them there are consequences to their actions.
Apart-Ad-6518 said:
NTA. The kids went absolutely wild. They broke several things, including a vas that was a gift from my late grandmother, spilled juice on my white couch, and even scribbled on the walls with markers."
Kids of those ages absolutely should be past that sort of behavior. "Now my parents are involved, saying I should 'be the bigger person' and help out my brother." If they feel that strongly let them help out & get their home trashed.
Key_Confidence_1513 said:
NTA. Just tell him “kids will be kids and my house isn’t suitable for kids."
birdiegetslicked said:
NTA! You’re setting a good boundary and he should have been respectful and understanding. If he was and taught his kids better then maybe you would be more open! 6,8 and 10 still scribbling on the walls? Doesn’t sound like there’s any discipline haha, you’re in the right.
justareadermwb said:
NTA. Kids definitely break and spill things accidentally, but unless there are some significant developmental issues, they don't draw on the wall with markers at 6+ years old and dont completely ignore adult correction. This is not an emergency situation for your brother & SIL.
It is a choice. You are not obligated to have your home invaded & disrespected to accommodate their choice. If you want to be helpful & have the time with your niblings without putting your space at risk, offer to watch them in their own home (where bro & SIL will have to manage the aftermath) or to help watch them at your parents' home.