'AITA for refusing to let my fiancé’s best friend move in with us?'
"AITA for refusing to let my fiancé’s best friend move in with us?"
My husband's best friend just broke up with his long-term girlfriend and needs a place to stay. My sweet husband immediately offered our place, without asking me first. He said Chris could crash in our guest room “just for a few months until he gets back on his feet. I was quite taken aback I mean the dude is just having an emotional breakdown why house him for few months.
I like Chris fine, but he’s uhhh…messy. He leaves dishes everywhere, never cleans up, and when we’ve hung out in the past he’s always borrowing stuff without asking , like the dude just takes things like he owns them. I know if he moves in, I’ll end up being the one dealing with the mess because my husband is more laid back.
I told hubby that I wasn’t comfortable turning our new home into a bachelor pad right after moving in together. Yes!, we just built it and we're newlyweds. Back to the story, I said Chris can stay for a couple weekends if he really needs to, but not months. My husband got frustrated and said c and that if it was him, he’d never leave any of my friends hanging.
Now it’s turned into a bigger fight. Some of my friends agreed with me and understood that we're just starting our lives together and we need space to bond without interference. But some of his friends (and even my brother) said I should be more understanding because in life we have to render help to those in need.
I mean I get where they're coming from but how does a relationship breakup break down a man. Hubby is still angry with me but be my judge am I actually being unfair? Would most people let their partner’s best friend stay for few months, or am I right to protect our space?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
GloryIV said:
NTA. You have a bigger problem than the mooch who is going to be on your couch though - and that's that your new husband thinks he can invite people to live with you without even discussing it with you.
Whatever you end up doing with Chris- you've got to fix that issue. It sounds like your husband views his friends' needs as being more important than his partner's (that being you...)
Individual_Ad_9213 said:
NTA. A couple of weeks would be the max for me to allow anyone to stay at my place. If said individual was as messy and as presumptuous as Chris seems to be, I'd probably limit them to one week, and then it would be on condition that my partner cleaned up after his messy friend. As the old saying goes: Guests and fish start to stink after three days.
ldp409 sai
NTA. This scenario is featured almost every week and it has not once turned out well. The guy loses his job, gets depressed, stays messy, argues with wife, hub defends friend vs wife, fractures marriage. I wouldn't tbh.
hopelesscaribou said:
Why aren't your husbands friends putting him up if they are on his side? NTA, this sets a dangerous precedent of disrespect for your comfort.
diminishingpatience said:
NTA. It's your home, not his friend's.
Decent_Front4647 said:
NTA. If he’s allowed to move in, you’ll never get rid of him.
NTA. DO NOT all him to get tenants rights. Chris is a grown man who can figure out his living arrangements. Your bigger issue is your husband. It's not ok for him to not discuss this with you. You need to have a talk about this.