'AITA for refusing to let my parents move in?' 'They gave my sister my childhood home.'
"AITA for refusing to let my parents move in after they gave my sister (F23) my childhood home?"
I’m a 23-year-old woman who moved out of my parents' house two years ago when I got my first job in a new city. My childhood home holds a lot of memories for me, and while I was excited to start my own life, I always assumed that one day, I’d either inherit the house or at least have a say in what happens to it. My younger sister, Rachel (F21), is still in college and has been living at home while studying.
A few months ago, my parents told me they were planning to downsize and move into a smaller apartment closer to the city. I was surprised but understood their reasoning. However, they then dropped a bombshell: they were giving the house to Rachel.
I was shocked and hurt. They didn’t ask for my input or even give me a heads-up. When I asked them why, they said Rachel needed a stable place to live while finishing school and that she’d always been “more attached” to the house than I was. They assured me that I was always welcome to visit, but it felt like they were brushing aside my connection to the home.
To make matters worse, they also mentioned that they planned to use the money they’d save from not maintaining the larger house to travel and enjoy their retirement. It felt like they were giving away my inheritance without a second thought.
After a lot of back and forth, I decided to distance myself. I stopped visiting as often and only spoke to them when necessary. Rachel didn’t seem to understand why I was upset, saying that it was “just a house” and that I should be happy for her. But it wasn’t just a house to me—it was my childhood home, and I felt betrayed.
Now, things have taken an even more dramatic turn. My parents’ downsizing plan didn’t go as smoothly as they’d hoped. The apartment they moved into turned out to have numerous issues—leaks, noisy neighbors, and a difficult landlord. They called me last week, asking if they could move in with me temporarily until they found a better place.
I flat-out refused. I told them that they’d made their choice when they gave Rachel the house, and that I wasn’t going to bail them out now. My parents were furious, accusing me of being petty and vindictive. Rachel also got involved, saying that I was overreacting and that family should stick together.
My husband thinks I’m justified in my decision, but some of my friends have said that I’m being too harsh and that I should help my parents out. Now I’m left wondering if I’m letting my hurt feelings get in the way of doing the right thing. So AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Sebscreen said:
NTA. They aren't obligated to give you the home and you aren't obligated house them. I'll ask the obvious: why can't Rachel take them in at her new house?
Kinky_Jinkee said:
NTA. You're not obligated to help your parents after they gave your childhood home to your sister without consulting you.
quadrofolio said:
NTA, your parents are dimwits apparently and you have no obligation to bail them out. Let them move back in with your sister. Problem solved.
spaceylaceygirl said:
NTA- you aren't entitled to your parent's home. That being said, you aren't required to help your parents out after they made a bad decision either. They showed obvious favoritism to your sister, you have every right to be upset by that.
Amethyst-talon91 said:
NTA they brushed aside your feelings on the home you also grew up in, didn't even ask. They just wanted you to get over it, so you did. Now they want favors. They better call Rachel.
RikkeJane said:
NTA tell them to move in with Rachel and tell Rachel to invite her parents to live with her. Tell them it’s not about being petty or vindictive but simply that your relationship with is not as close as you thought and that you need to focus on your family.
Fun-Welcome2264 said:
The AUDACITY of family members… NTA