"AITA for refusing to pick up my 4-year-old from my ex?"
I have a 4 year old with my ex. Him and his girlfriend were expecting a baby any day now. It was around 12am on Saturday when he called me and asked me to pick up my son because his girlfriend was in labor. I had no problem watching my son, but I had been drinking so I told him I wouldn’t be able to pick him up and he needed to be dropped off. They live a 5 minute drive away from me.
He argued with me and told me I needed to come and pick him up now, since she was in labor. I explained I had been drinking and would not be driving to come get him because I did not feel safe driving myself, let alone with my 4-year-old in the car. I was perfectly capable of watching him, but he would need to be dropped off to me, since I had had a few drinks.
He called me irresponsible and told me I shouldn’t have been drinking so close to her due date. He never once told me her due date or that I should be available during his parenting time to pick him up in case she goes into labor.
I told him that while my 4-year-old is my responsibility on my parenting time, his girlfriend and his new baby were not my responsibility. I also said it would be irresponsible of me drive after I’d had a few drinks.
I reiterated that I was willing to take him, but he needed to drop him off because I would not be driving since I’d had a few drinks. He started yelling at me over the phone to “get your butt over here now." So I just hung up and sent him a text that I was home if he decided to drop him off.
He ended up dropping him off and screaming at me in front of our 4-year-old, so I took my son inside and locked the door. This whole argument took 30 minutes, while he could’ve just drove the 5 minutes and dropped him off and been on his way.
I honestly feel sorry for the girlfriend for having to wait even longer to go to the hospital, but I was not about to put my son or anyone else in danger because he wanted me to drive while I’d been drinking. So AITA for refusing to pick up my son?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
winterworld561 said:
Document it for future custody reviews. Wanting you to drive your son while intoxicated is terrible parenting on his part.
Remote-Cellist5927 said:
NTA and he needed to work out this plan in detail BEFORE she went into labor.
Briscogun said:
NTA. You did the responsible thing and while he might've been annoyed, he should be thankful that you were being an adult and not risking the life of your son over something like a 5 minute drive. Well played!
sexyze said:
NTA. Tell your ex that his lack of proper planning does not constitute as an emergency for you. He had 9 months to make contingency plans. It's not like you said an outright no. You just said you wouldn't drive while (almost?) drunk. That is you being responsible. Why was he so upset?
United-Plum1671 said:
NTA I’m concerned that he was so ok with his kid being in the car with a buzzed/drunk driver.
PsiBlaze said:
NTA. His GF getting knocked up is literally not your problem. It's okay to remind him of that at every opportunity.
Impressive_Moment786 said:
NTA-of course you shouldn't drink and drive. And it is laughable that he thinks you should give one single care about his gf's due date. He is the ahole for not taking childcare and how he would handle that into consideration when the due date was approaching.